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+--- Thread: ANARCHY - 07/02/2026 (/showthread.php?tid=50256)
ANARCHY - 07/02/2026 - 'Big' Dick Lichter - 07-02-2026
XWF Anarchy
![[Image: vuE1ZV0.png]](https://i.imgur.com/vuE1ZV0.png) 07 - 02 - 2026
LIVE FROM JOHN PAUL JONES ARENA!
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VIRGINIA ![[Image: wireline.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/xCmXvVpR/wireline.png)
|
TODD: Folks, as all always, our opener could main event anywhere else in the world!
BAMA: Our appetizer’s a goddamned three-course meal, baby! That’s how you know you’re in the Land of X-Treme!
The lights go out. Fire surrounds the stage. The X-Tron flickers to life. A heartbeat monitor flatlines. Beep.
“Antivist” by Bring Me The Horizon blasts throughout the arena. The X-Tron features key moments from his career, namely making people eat finishers and kendo sticks.
MIDDLE FINGERS UP, IF YOU DON’T GIVE A FUCK!
Solomon Kline appears on stage on his blue Harley Davidson motorcycle! Flames rise up all around him. He rides his bike down the ramp and the flames subside, replaced by snow-like pyro raining down from the ceiling. He rides his bike to the ring and goes around to each side, raising his middle fingers as the song lyrics denote and encouraging the crowd to join in and sing along with his gesture.
TODD: There he is! Solomon Kline! The man who once called himself Psycho! Multiple time X-Treme champion!
BAMA: He’s taken his fair share of lumps recently, Toddrick! But there ain’t no denying, when Kline’s in top form, he’s a danger to anyone he’s in the ring with!
TODD: Absolutely, Kline had a yearlong Rookie of the Year campaign and in that time, he racked up accomplishments like clockwork! His Sophomore year has been a little more start-and-stop, but it’s important to remember just how close he came to clearing the previously-thought unbeatable, Kieran King! Can he get back on track with a huge victory tonight?
As he makes his way to the last side of the ring, he parks his bike with a kickstand and slides under the bottom rope.
IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN THE WORDS THAT YOU PREACH
GET OFF YOUR SCREENS AND ONTO THE STREETS! THERE WILL BE NO PEACEFUL REVOLUTION!
NO WAR WITHOUT BLOOD!
Solomon ascends the turnbuckle and looks around the room, taking in the cheers of the crowd before dropping down awaiting the start of the match.
…
The country twang of Stand Your Ground echoes as a mixed reaction echoes through the crowd. Tuck Taggart comes out from the back, a mean look on his face as he sneers at his opponent in the ring. He tips his hat to the camera before making his way down to the ring, shadowboxing as he moves across.
TODD: KENTUCKY! Tuck Taggart! The Bluegrass Badass! We saw him go to WAR with Frances Marigold on Warfare!
BAMA: Besides that, the only time we’ve seen this man is when he punched out Mark Zuckerberg… and all the times he’s tried to call Mister Oz to take him on in an old-school slapfight!
TODD: Oz insists he doesn’t know this man and that Tuck is not worth his time… but a win tonight would certainly support Tuck’s argument that he’s ready to go after Mister Oz!
Tuck climbs up the steps and places his hat right on the ring post. He cleans his boots off on the apron before he walks inside…
…
When Booyka 619 hit's he walks out on stage and kneels down on one knee and prays. He gets up and points to the Fans in Pyro fireworks burst open and switch to the other side of the stage in does the same thing in
TODD: El Landerson! The Bit Luchador! He lobbed a challenge in his promo at the fight of Samael Dyson!
BAMA: Dyson’s got his match later tonight defending his X-Treme title… and if he wins it, he’ll be leaving with a 24/7 briefcase!
TODD: Landerson might be too late to block Dyson, that’ll be up to Dickie Watson in tonight’s main event… but can he prove he deserves a shot to defend the X-Treme title?
after he was done he slowly walks down the ramp in slaps some little kids high fives and he stops and stares at the kid in hands him his Luchdor Mask to him and heads straight towards the ring and hops on the turnbuckle and pose both fingers in mid air and walks to the other side turnbuckle in does the same thing mid finger in the air in he gets down and wait for his Opponent arrive.
…
The referee looks from one corner to the next before signaling for the bell.
DING DING DING!
SOLOMON KLINE - vs - KENTUCKY - vs - EL LANDERSON TRIPLE THREAT! Three of Anarchy's rising stars square off in the opening bout! This match will help determine the roster's pecking order going forward! |
Kentucky "Tuck" Taggart plants his boots wide, chin lifted with smug confidence. His weathered face curls into a grin as he slowly raises one enormous hand.
He wiggles his fingers.
Inviting somebody...
Anybody...
To take the free slap.
TODD: "Taggart wasting absolutely no time playing mind games."
BAMA T: "That ain't mind games, Todd! That's Kentucky hospitality! Somebody come collect their complimentary concussion!"
Solomon Kline's lips flatten into an unimpressed line. He shakes his head once, refusing to indulge the old brawler.
Instead...
He turns toward El Landerson.
Tuck scowls with a Kentucky huff!
BAMA: Man, first Oz now Kline… nobody’s willing to take a slap straight-on from Tuck!
Landerson's eyes brighten behind his mask. His hands clap together excitedly before he bounces lightly on his toes.
The Bit Luchador eagerly accepts.
He sprints—
Springboard—
Somersault!
Tuck barely turns—
THWACK!
Flying lariat!
The veteran spins sideways and tumbles through the ropes before crashing to the floor.
The crowd erupts.
TODD: "Landerson strikes first!"
BAMA T: "That little mosquito done poked the bear!"
Landerson pumps both fists triumphantly.
He points toward the cheering crowd.
Too instantly.
Solomon watches the celebration with narrowed eyes.
His jaw tightens.
Without warning—
SUPERKICK!
CRACK!
Landerson's head snaps sideways.
The luchador spins completely around before collapsing to one knee.
TODD: "Kline making Landerson pay for admiring his own work!"
BAMA T: "Boy celebrated like he'd won the lottery after one clothesline!"
Outside...
Tuck slowly pushes himself upright.
His beard hides most of his expression...
Except the irritation burning in his eyes.
He spits.
Then smiles.
He calmly reaches beneath the apron.
Before sliding out—
A steel chair.
[bliue]TODD: Whoa whoa WHOOOOOOA! This is NOT an X-Treme Rules match![/blue]
The referee immediately points at it, shouting warnings, sliding outside to admonish Tuck!
Tuck looks almost offended.
He shrugs dramatically...
...before handing over the chair with a sigh…
The official nods approvingly, pulling up the apron to return the chair under the ring…
Tuck smiles innocently.
Then immediately reaches under the opposite side.
Pulling out ANOTHER CHAIR!
BAMA T: "HAHA! Tuck’s wilier than !"
Inside the ring...
Landerson tries to catch Kline with a…
Hurricanrana!
NO! Kline flips clean over—
Rolling through—
Landing on his feet!
The audience pops.
Landerson's eyes widen.
Both men charge in!
Collar-and-elbow tie-up!
Outside…
Tuck circles the ring with the chair!
The official looks up after replacing the chair… and starts hollering at Tuck following him, ordering him to give him the chair!
TODD: Uh oh! Tuck’s been caught before he’s had a chance to use that chair!
The referee holds his hand out…
Tuck folds the chair shut.
Not to use it.
To sit on it.
He unfolds it beside the ring.
Lights a Kentucky Select.
And mean-mugs the official…
TODD: "...He's... sitting down? …I mean, hitting your opponents with chairs is a DQ…. But sitting isn’t? I think Tuck is operating inside the rules, it’s just… a strange choice!”
BAMA T: "Strange like a Kentucky fox, Toddrick! Smartest man in this match. Let the young idiots soften each other up."
…The official blinks perplexed… before shrugging and sliding back in the ring…
Inside...
Landerson grits his teeth, refusing to be overpowered.
He ducks beneath Solomon's arm.
Arm wrench...
Inside cradle!
ONE—
Kline! kicks free immediately.
TODD: Landerson tried to steal that one!
BAMA: Those quick pins are exactly why El Landerson might think he’d been the X-Treme champ’s kryptonite! Or in spanish… ‘el kryptonite’!
Both scramble up.
Landerson charges again… Kline backs up to the corner! Landerson accelerates into a dive! The official tries to stay between them!
Stinger Splash—
NO! Kline hits the mat! Nobody home!
EXCEPT THE OFFICIAL!
Landerson crashes chest-first into the buckle, as Kline circle-steps around him!
Landerson’s face twists in pain.
He staggers backward...
Right into—
Blue Thunder Bomb!
Solomon stacks him high!
…
But the ref is out!
AND A STEEL CHAIR EXPLODES ACROSS KLINE’S BACK!
The crowd gasps.
Kline arches violently, letting go of the cover.
He looks up at Tuck who tosses the chair over the ropes…
Offering his hands for a slapfight!
TODD: "Kentucky Taggart just picked his spot!"
BAMA T: "It ain't cheating if the rules man’s unconscious, Toddy baby!"
TODD: I think Tuck got irritated Kline blew him off. That chairshot sent a message, and that message is ‘BOY, YOU SLAP FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW!’
Solomon's face reddens instantly.
His nostrils flare.
The chair shot doesn't scare him.
It insults him.
He slowly rises...
Rubbing his spine...
Never taking his eyes off Tuck.
Tuck answers with the same cocky grin.
Then raises one open hand again.
The arena buzzes.
Solomon's jaw flexes.
He storms forward—
SLAP—
No.
Tuck sidesteps.
Discus Punch!
The shot catches Solomon flush across the jaw.
Kline stumbles into the ropes...
Bounces back—
Pure rage replacing surprise.
He explodes forward—
SPEAR!
Tuck folds inside out.
Both men crash through the middle rope...
Landing hard on the floor together.
TODD: What a SHOT by Kline!
BAMA: Both these boys are swinging for the fences like this is the goddamned Home Run Derby!
Inside the ring...
Landerson slowly shakes away the cobwebs.
He blinks.
Looks left.
Looks right.
Nobody.
His eyes light up.
The opportunity is too good to ignore.
He sprints toward the ropes.
Springboard...
Balances effortlessly...
LANDERSON FROG SPLASH—
To the floor!
He crashes across both larger men, flattening all three in a spectacular pile at ringside.
The crowd leaps to its feet.
TODD: "What elevation! Landerson just sacrificed himself to wipe out both opponents!"
BAMA T: "That little feller's got more guts than common sense!"
All three men lie scattered around ringside...
Each slowly stirring...
The crowd's roar swells into a frenzy.
Landerson rolls onto all fours first.
His chest rises and falls rapidly.
Every breath hurts.
…
Solomon wipes blood from the corner of his mouth.
Taggart chuckles while pulling himself up with the barricade.
Solomon's nostrils flare and he charges the Bluegrass Badass!
He swings wildly.
Tuck leans away.
The punch whistles harmlessly past.
Taggart buries a heavy knee into Solomon's stomach.
The younger man doubles over.
Without hesitation—
Kentuckyplex!
The delayed vertical suplex leaves Solomon suspended impossibly high...
...before Tuck crashes him spine-first onto the ringside floor.
TODD: "Good Lord! That's concrete beneath those mats!"
BAMA T: "That's old man strength, baby! You can't teach that! You just gotta survive enough smacks upside your head to attain it!"
Inside...
Landerson sees both opponents brawling by the barricade
Hope floods his face.
Now.
He sprints!
Hops off the steps! Onto the apron’s edge!
ASAI MOONSAULT!
Perfect rotation—
…
But Solomon shoves Tuck out of the way and slips back himself!
Landerson’s chest hits the barricade!
TODD: Ouch! I think Kline was tired of Landerson getting to do whatever he wanted! He didn’t want to spare Tuck the pain, he just wanted Landerson to eat a stomach-full of metal!
Tuck breathes heavily by the barricade, as Kline grabs Landerson by the mask.
Solomon hauls the smaller man upright.
Landerson's eyes widen.
He reaches instinctively for Solomon's wrists.
Too late.
Blue Thunder Bomb—
OUT ON THE PADDED CONCRETE!
The tabletop explodes beneath Landerson.
The audience erupts.
[b][i]HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!
He drags Landerson toward the ring.
Rolls him inside.
Hooks both legs.
ONE!
TWO!
THR—
A massive boot crashes into Solomon's shoulder.
The pin breaks.
Tuck stands over both men.
[blue]TODD: I think Kline’s instincts might have kicked in after hitting Landerson with that sick move to try and finish it…
BAMA: Triple-threats are a unique challenge, Toddrick! Everything you know about a one-on-one contest goes out the window!
Taggart’s chest heaves.
His face has lost all traces of amusement.
He grabs Solomon by the scruff of the neck.
Yanks him upright.
Discus Punch—
NO!
Solomon ducks underneath.
German Suplex!
Tuck crashes hard...
...but immediately rolls to one knee.
The old brawler spits blood.
Then laughs.
TODD: "How is he getting up?!"
BAMA T: "Because hell don't want him back yet!"
Solomon doesn't laugh.
His expression twists with frustration.
He charges again.
Spear—
Tuck sidesteps—
Atomic Drop!
Solomon's entire body stiffens.
Before he can recover—
Inverted Atomic Drop!
The crowd groans collectively.
Tuck doesn't stop.
He hooks Solomon's arms.
Piledriver!
The ring shakes.
Cover.
ONE!
TWO!
Landerson flies through the air—
Reverse Crossbody!
Breaking everything apart.
TODD: Wow! Tuck almost had it there!
BAMA: Nobody counts almost-victories, Toddy! The match rolls on thanks to Landerson!
All three men remain tangled together.
Nobody moves.
The referee checks all three.
The audience applauds.
Landerson blinks first.
He crawls toward the nearest corner.
Using every rope he can find...
He slowly climbs.
One rung.
Then another.
Then another.
He stands.
High above the ring.
The crowd rises.
TODD: "Landerson going all in!"
BAMA T: "Boy's got courage. I ain't questioning that."
Below...
Solomon slowly rises.
Tuck rises with him.
They trade forearms.
One.
Two.
Three.
Each shot louder than the last.
Neither man gives an inch.
Landerson sees them lined up perfectly.
His eyes shine.
This is it.
LANDERSON FROG SPLASH—
…BUT KLINE CATCHES HIM WITH THE ASHES TO ASHES (Superman Punch!)
Landerson drops flat on his back, looking knocked the fuck out…
Kline drops to a knee, looking to crawl into a cover!
…But Tuck grabs him by the skull!
Then reaches for Solomon's eyes.
Eye rake!
TODD: That’s illegal!
BAMA: Illegal is a strong word. If the ref ain’t DQ you the first time you do it, it’s more frowned upon than anything…
The referee immediately admonishes him.
Tuck throws both hands up innocently.
The official argues.
Tuck nods apologetically, as the official goes to check on Landerson…
Before dragging Solomon's eyes across the top rope the moment the referee looks toward Landerson.
[blue]TODD: "Oh, come on!"
Solomon reels backward.
Blind rage overtakes reason.
He charges purely on instinct.
Tuck catches him.
Southpaw Sucker Slap—
NO!
Solomon instinctively catches the wrist.
For the first time...
Tuck's eyes widen.
A brief flash of surprise.
Solomon answers with a headbutt.
CRACK!
Both men stagger… Solomon staggers back into the ropes… Tuck’s neck hangs over the middle rope!
Landerson sees both giants wobbling.
His heartbeat pounds in his ears.
This is his chance.
He sprints.
Springboard—
Landerson Six-One-Nine!
The double impact snaps Tuck’s head backward!
The arena comes unglued.
Landerson doesn't hesitate.
He scrambles onto Tuck.
Hooks the leg.
ONE!
TWO!
THR—
Kline dives.
His hand hooks Landerson by the ankle...
Dragging him completely off the cover at the last possible heartbeat.
The audience gasps.
TODD: "I thought that was it!"
BAMA: “How the hell is anyone gonna end this one?!?”
Solomon Kline grabs El Landerson, scooping him up into the air for a gorilla press slam! The audience ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ in amazement at the physical feat of strength!
But El Landerson isn’t amazed at all-
In fact, he’s VERY resistant!
So resistant-
That he wiggles free from the press, and drops down just behind Kline!
Kline turns around to grab hold of the bit luchador once more-
But El Landerson has different plans!
TODD: “SUPER KICK! SUPER KICK!”
El Landerson pops off a righteous super kick that connects squarely into Kline’s jaw, forcing the big man to go flying over the ropes and out of the ring!
BAMA: “El Landerson just took Kline’s head off!”
El Landerson watches Kline’s body fly over the top rope, admiring his work. Then, El Landerson turns around to deal with Taggart-
But Taggart’s waiting for him….
WITH A SOUTHPAW SUCKER SLAP!
Reaching down into Hell, Tuck spins like he's throwing a shot put and slaps his opponent across the head hard enough to bust an eardrum or dislocate a jaw!
BAMA: “And now, Tuck just took Landerson’s head off! Talk about karma!”
Taggart drops down, hooking Landerson’s leg for the pin!
1!
2!!
3!!!
| Winner - Kentucky “Tuck” Taggart |
Taggart rises to his feet, saying some incredibly offensive things about Mexicans as the referee raises his hand in victory. Outside the ring, Solomon Kline stumbles to his feet with a defeated look etched across his face.
TODD: “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it! Newcomer Kentucky “Tuck” Taggart just beat two of Anarchy’s stalwarts!”
[blue]BAMA: “And by the looks of it, Kline can’t believe it either!”
While Kentucky celebrates inside the ring, Solomon Kline pounds his fists into the barricade outside the ring, clearly pissed off!
TODD: “You win some and you lose some, but I know this match is going to sting for Solomon!”
BAMA: “And that’s exactly the way Tuck wants it, baby!”
[/i][/b]
"Mickey" begins playing, the fans pop to their feet and dance along to the catchy beats.
The cheers grow when she zooms down the aisle doing non-stop backflips all the way to ringside.
Barbie runs around ringside slapping hands and stops beside the commentary table to high-five Todd and Bama before handing her pom-poms to a young girl in the front row.
The girl raises them excitedly as Barbie performs a quick cheer routine just for her.
Barbie then slides into the ring, springs onto her hands, and launches herself through a dazzling series of handsprings before landing in the splits and posing.
TODD: "Brawliepop Barbie is still searching for her first major breakthrough here on Anarchy!"
BAMA T: "She came close last week, baby! She and El Landerson put themselves through the same table and handed Dom Durango the easiest victory of his miserable life!"
TODD: "Tonight, Barbie has the opportunity to prove that result was nothing more than a technicality."
BAMA T: "And she better stay away from the tables this time, baby!"
War drums begin pounding throughout the arena.
Dom emerges from the curtain, dressed in all-black, marching, feet plodding with zero bravado, simply cold, brutal urgency.
He marches toward the ring expressionless.
Barbie continues bouncing in her corner, but her smile slowly fades as Dom approaches.
TODD: "The man approaching the ring bears very little resemblance to the ridiculous television chef who first arrived in the XWF."
BAMA T: "Micheal Graves fed that man some Hell grits and burned every funny bone out of his body!"
TODD: "Dom has become increasingly violent and increasingly disturbing since Leap of Faith."
BAMA T: "And now he’s going to eat Barbie’s dream!"
TODD: "I sincerely hope you mean that metaphorically."
BAMA T: "This is the new Dom Durango we’re talking about, baby. I wouldn’t bet on it!"
Dom stomps up the steel steps.
He stands on the apron and stares directly at Barbie.
Barbie's confidence flatlines at the sight of the behemoth.
Dom steps between the ropes.
No acknowledgment of the crowd. He just waits.
BRAWLIEPOP BARBIE - vs - DOM DURANGO |
The referee checks both competitors.
Barbie offers Dom a cautious sportsmanlike handshake.
Dom maintains eye contact as he spits on the canvas.
Barbie withdraws her hand and nods.
The bell rings.
[b]DING! DING! DING![/b]
Barbie immediately starts circling.
Dom marches straight toward her.
Barbie changes direction.
She darts forward with a low kick and Dom swings a lariat!
Barbie ducks it and performs a cartwheel behind him.
Dom turns.
FLYING DROPKICK!
Dom stumbles backward but is still standing.
Barbie kips up.
The crowd cheers.
TODD: "Barbie has to use her speed! She cannot allow Dom to trap her!"
BAMA T: "Don’t stand in front of the freight train, baby!"
Barbie runs toward the ropes.
She rebounds.
Another dropkick!
Dom absorbs it and takes a step back.
Barbie rolls through the landing and rises.
A third dropkick—NO!
Dom swats her legs aside!
Barbie crashes stomach first against the canvas.
Dom immediately stomps on the back of her head.
TODD: "One mistake was all it took!"
BAMA T: "Dom just stomped the pep right out of her, baby!
Dom grabs Barbie by the hair and hauls her upright.
Closed-fist punch.
Barbie collapses against the ropes.
Dom grabs her wrist and whips her across the ring. She rebounds and Dom swings another lariat.
Barbie ducks again.
She leaps onto the middle rope—SPRINGBOARD SCISSORS KICK!
The kick catches Dom behind the ear!
Dom drops to one knee.
Barbie hits the ropes.
POM-POM POWER!
The cartwheel flying back elbow connects!
Dom tumbles through the ropes and lands on his feet outside.
The crowd erupts.
Barbie sprints across the ring.
PLANCHA DIVE!
No!
Dom catches her.
Barbie’s eyes widen.
TODD: "Dom caught her!"
BAMA T: "Barbie flew directly into the bear trap, baby!"
Dom drives Barbie spine first into the ring post.
CLANG!
Barbie cries out.
Dom maintains his grip.
He turns and throws her knees first into the steel steps.
CRASH!
Barbie lands hard on the floor.
TODD: "Barbie’s knees struck those steps first!"
BAMA T: "Dom said he was going to snap her knees the wrong way, and he just might've, baby!!
Barbie clutches her knee.
Dom watches her struggling for a moment, then reaches down.
Barbie kicks at him with her good leg.
Dom catches the ankle and pulls her up.
Barbie hops backward on one foot...
ENZUIGIRI!
It catches Dom across the temple!
Dom releases her and staggers against the apron.
Barbie crawls away.
She reaches the barricade and pulls herself up.
The crowd reaches over, encouraging her.
Dom charges, but Barbie drops down and Dom crashes shoulder first into the barricade!
Barbie hops onto the barricade, balancing mostly on one leg.
MOONSAULT!
Both competitors crash to the floor.
TODD: "Incredible athleticism from Brawliepop Barbie!"
BAMA T: "She’s fighting on one good leg and still flying, baby!"
Barbie pushes herself up and limps toward the ring, tolling beneath the bottom rope.
Dom follows.
Barbie waits until his head passes through the ropes.
SLIDING UP-KICK!
Barbie grabs the top rope and swings her legs around his neck.
ROPE-ASSISTED NECKBREAKER!
Barbie hooks the leg!
ONE!
TWO!!
Dom throws her off with ease!
Barbie flies across the ring and rises quickly but her damaged knee buckles.
Dom charges.
Barbie somehow leapfrogs over him, but her knee gives out during the landing.
Dom spins around...
LARIAT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!
TODD: "Barbie’s knee betrayed her!"
BAMA T: No, Dom did that! He took the landing gear off the airplane, baby!"
Dom grabs the damaged leg.
Barbie claws at the canvas.
Dom lifts her ankle and slams her knee against the mat.
Barbie screams.
Dom lifts it again, but Barbie desperately turns over and kicks Dom in the face with her free leg.
Dom releases her and Barbie crawls toward the corner.
But Dom follows and grabs her ankle and drags her back to the center.
Barbie kicks herself free, giving her time to get upright.
She strikes him again, but Dom drives his thumb into her eye.
Barbie screams and covers her face.
TODD: "Come on! There was no need for that!"
BAMA T: "Dom doesn’t do anything because he needs to, baby! He does it because he wants to!"
Dom grabs Barbie around the throat with both hands and lifts.
Barbie’s feet kick as the referee orders Dom to release the choke.
Dom ignores him.
The referee begins counting.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
Dom throws Barbie across the ring before the count reaches five.
She crashes against the turnbuckles.
Dom charges her.
CRASH!
Barbie crashes violently to the canvas.
Dom grabs her leg and drags her toward the corner.
He places her ankle across the bottom rope.
The referee warns him.
Dom raises his boot.
STOMP!
She screams.
Dom stomps it again.
STOMP!
The referee physically pulls Dom away.
Dom shoves the referee aside.
TODD: "Dom better watch it if he doesn't want to get DQ'ed!"
BAMA T: "If I were the official, I don't know if I'd chance DQing the Dominator, baby!"
Barbie rolls underneath the bottom rope and drops to the floor.
She tries to stand, but her knee immediately gives out.
Dom steps through the ropes and follows her.
The referee begins counting.
ONE!
TWO!
Barbie crawls toward the ring.
THREE!
FOUR!
She reaches the apron.
FIVE!
Barbie pulls herself up.
SIX!
She rolls inside.
SEVEN!
Dom takes the steps.
EIGHT!
And enters the ring.
Barbie springs forward for the superkick, but her planted knee buckles.
Dom catches her foot.
TODD: "Barbie’s knee couldn’t support the K-I-C-K!"
BAMA T: "She had him lined up, baby! She just couldn’t pull the trigger!"
Dom twists her ankle.
Barbie flips and crashes onto her stomach.
Dom keeps hold of the leg.
He places one boot against the back of her knee.
Then pulls.
Barbie screams as Dom stretches the joint in the wrong direction.
She reaches toward the ropes.
Her fingertips brush the bottom strand.
Dom drags her back toward the center.
The referee asks if Barbie wants to submit.
She shakes her head frantically.
Dom releases the leg.
Barbie curls into a ball.
He bends down and grabs Barbie by the hair.
Barbie throws a punch into his stomach.
Dom pulls her higher.
Another punch.
Dom barely reacts.
Barbie throws a forearm.
Dom’s head turns.
Barbie strikes again.
And again.
Barbie screams and swings one final spinning backfist—
Dom ducks.
Barbie spins completely around.
[b]CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!
Dom turns Barbie inside out!!!
TODD: "CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!"
BAMA T: "HE NEARLY KNOCKED THE BODY GLITTER OFF HER, BABY!"
Dom drops to his knees.
He places one hand on Barbie’s chest.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
[/b]
[b]DING! DING! DING![/b]
| WINNER: DOM DURANGO |
The war drums begin again.
Dom remains kneeling beside Barbie.
The referee tries to raise his arm, but Dom pulls away.
TODD: "Brawliepop Barbie showed tremendous heart tonight, but Dom dismantled her."
BAMA T: "Barbie kept finding ways to fly, baby, but every time she landed, Dom took another piece until there wasn't anything left to take!"
TODD: "She came dangerously close to connecting with that surprise K-I-C-K, but the damage had already been done."
BAMA T: "Dom walked into that ring, broke Barbie down, and beat her ass, baby!"
TODD: "Last week, Dom Durango won without having to wrestle. Tonight, he proved he can be even more frightening when he does."
Dom marches back up the ramp without looking behind him.
Inside the ring, Barbie refuses the referee’s help and grabs the ropes, slowly pulling herself upright.
The crowd gives her a standing ovation as she balances uneasily on one leg.
…
The synthesized beat of Shake it Off By Taylor Swift begins to play over the public address system, as the opening lyrics soon begin, as the fans boo and flashes going off, people are waiting for the arrival of the Fitness Queen herself.
[i]I stay out too late
Got nothing in my brain
That's what people say, mm-mm
That's what people say, mm-mm
As a spotlight is on the entrance ramp and the lights dim, first stepping out is none other than the legendary Snarktopus Nessa Wall, who smiles brightly before trash talking the fans as she smiles, before ordering a couple of stage hands to come out they each have a mirror in hand they face the entrance ramp, as soon out from the back steps La Marvillosa herself Marisol Vilaro.
I go on too many dates
But I can't make 'em stay
At least that's what people say, mm-mm
That's what people say, mm-mm
Marisol stops to admire herself in each mirror posing and showing off, what her hard work has given her and mouthing about how she’s the inspiration these out-of-shape people need. After a few moments of posing she brushes right past, giving her manager/mentor a hug before they head off with Nessa leading the way taking the time to give the fans at ringside a hard time for even trying to touch them.
But I keep cruisin'
Can't stop, won't stop movin'
It's like I got this music in my mind
Sayin' it's gonna be alright
TODD: Marisol Vilaro! The Number One Contender to the Revolution champion!
BAMA: Correction, Toddrick! The DE FACTO Revolution champion! She already beat Summer Page once, and she’s gonna do it again at Bad Medicine!
TODD: I must acknowledge, Bama, that Mari *did* beat Summer Page last Anarchy under VERY suspect circumstances! But, that controversial victory did earn her a shot at Bad Medicine for Summer Page’s Revolution Title!
BAMA: A match she’s destined to win! The VilaroMaxx Era will become the VilaroMaxx Revolution!
TODD: She’s got a major test in her long-time rival Summer Page at Bad Medicine! But tonight, she’s got a very different test! An opponent that she’s never defeated before! Mari’s insisted she’s basically an entirely new competitor since VilaroMaxxing… can she prove it tonight?
Marisol herself takes the time to pose some more showing off her muscle, and trying to sell them on the VilaroFit mission, and how they need it to improve themselves, As the devious duo soon make their way toward the ring side area Nessa soon goes up the ring steps and takes the time to bark orders at the referee, showing him exactly how lower the ropes for herself, and her client, after being lectured by the Ambitchous one, the referee complies doing it exactly as Nessa demanded enters the ring and motions for Marisol to go up the steps, as she climbs up the steps she takes each moment to keep shilling her products, which doesn’t endear her to the fans, as she soon enters the ring under the rope and soon she rudely brushes past the referee as Nessa presents her to the booing fans as she raises her arms high in the air soaking in the boos, and catcalls.
'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off (hoo-hoo-hoo)
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off (hoo-hoo-hoo)
Marisol then does a series of poses once again before turning around and gracing the other side of the area raising her arms high in the air and then doing a similar series of poses showing off her physique and how in shape she is. While Nessa claps her client before they head into their corner, and Nessa is getting Marisol psyched and going over the game plan…
…
Oswald stands amidst an indie metal band, watching the ring, looking at the band. Soon a choir is heard as the band begins to play his theme song. He walks towards the lead guitarist, clapping him gently on the back so as to not mess up her playing. Oswald, walks down the ramp, the bottom of his white cloak dragging along the ground. Once at the ring, he'd leap onto the apron before launching himself to show how strong and agile he was to lift such mass with such ease right over the top rope and de-cloaked himself, placing it in his corner before stretching out his arms in a lower case t and roaring out to the crowd before going and sitting on top of his cloak, awaiting the bell as he mentally plans out the match, as well as how to try and beat his opponent.
TODD: Here he is, Mister Oz! One of the most dominant competitors in Anarchy history! As established by his two-and-oh record over Marisol Vilaro! Including a victory in his trademark Meathooks of Horror match!
BAMA: That was the old Mari, Todd! That’s comparing an original iPhone to the dang ol’ Eighteen! He beat a caterpillar, he’s fighting a goddamned DRAGONFLY!
TODD: It’s telling that this week in promos, Mari talked about how she’s ready to claim her first victory over Oz! How she wants to prove this new VilaroMaxx Era is for real! And Oz seemed to vaguely remember her name and not bring up their history at all!
BAMA: For Mari, her last meeting with Oz was one of the most brutal matches in her career… For Oz? It was a Thursday. Literally his second of three matches that night! He’s fresh, he’s strong… but can Mister Oz be the first man to beat Mari in her VilaroMaxx Era!
DING DING
MISTER OZ - vs - MARISOL VILARÓ X-TREME RULEZ MATCH! |
| HIGHLIGHT REEL! |
The bell rings.
Marisol doesn't move.
Her lips press into a thin line. Her eyes never leave Oz's. Every muscle in her body remains coiled, refusing to repeat the reckless mistakes that cost her their first two encounters.
Oz disinterestedly stretches his neck..
Not arrogantly.
Patiently.
Like a teacher pleased his student finally remembered the first lesson.
Neither moves.
The crowd grows restless.
TODD: Neither competitor seems willing to make the first move!
BAMA: Mari's finally wrestlin' with her brain instead of her ego! She’s rushed in before and let Oz lure her into getting bearhugged and tossed around like a ragdoll… VilaroMaxx means VilaroMaxx intelligence!
Marisol's eyebrows twitch with annoyance at Oz's smug calm. Refusing to let him dictate the pace, she suddenly darts in—
TODD: Looks like VilaroMaxx is as impatient as old Vilaro!
BAMA: …dammit, Mari…
LOW ENZUIGIRI!
The kick catches Oz across the knee!
Oz buckles.
Marisol immediately spins behind him.
Swinging Neckbreaker!
THUD!
Oz rolls away.
His expression remains...
Disappointingly calm.
Marisol scowls.
That composure infuriates her.
[/i]
TODD: Mari is fighting like she’s desperate to prove something… not just to her opponent at Bad Medicine, but to herself!
BAMA: And Oz looks cool, calm and collected, baby!
Mari circle-steps, trying to outpace Oz… while Oz simply slowly advances… Not circling, his every move designed to close the gap between them…
In a flash, Mari rushes forward.
…But Oz is ready!
BEAR HUG!
He snatches her completely off the ground.
TODD: GOOD LORD!
BAMA: That's why ya don't get greedy!
Marisol's eyes bulge.
Her face reddens.
She can feel her ribs compressing.
Instead of panicking, irritation flashes across her features.
She drives repeated elbows into Oz's temple.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Oz finally loosens his grip.
Marisol slips free.
She tries to take advantage!
She lunges.
DDT!
...
Oz blocks it.
He hoists her upward.
Delayed Vertical Suplex!
One...
Two...
Three...
The crowd counts with him.
Four...
Five...
Then Oz begins doing squats.
Six...
Seven...
Eight...
Marisol kicks wildly.
Finally—
WHAM!
She crashes into the canvas.
Cover.
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout.
TODD: Marisol survives!
BAMA: I don’t care how many miles you run on the treadmill, she ain't gonna survive many more of those!
TODD: Mari’s one of the fittest competitors in the XWF, but Oz chaining those power moves together is sure to sap anyone and fast!
The official blocks Oz from further offense so he can check if Mari can continue…
Which gives Mari a window to roll under the bottom rope…
BAMA: Veteran instinct! Marisol Vilaro, baby!
Rolling outside, Marisol kneels beside the apron.
Her chest rises rapidly.
Her eyes dart beneath the ring.
TODD: Mari looking to take this match to the hardcore district! This match is X-Treme rules after all, folks!
BAMA: Oz did bring up that he’s a two-time X-Treme champ, while Mari’s only held that barbed wire belt once! She might want to prove she can not only beat Oz, she can also get more X-Treme than Oz!
She smiles, reaching under there…
Before retrieving a…
A SOLID GOLD CLUTCH!
TODD: …Is that a clutch?
BAMA: A solid gold clutch! Straight of VilaroFit.com’s shopzone! The perfect accessory for self-defense! Easy to carry, hits like a solid gold brick!
TODD: …Because it is a solid gold brick?
[b][i]WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Oz calmly exits the opposite side.
Watching.
Waiting.
Marisol wraps the chain around her fist.
Her confidence returns.
She storms forward.
CLUTCH STRIKE—
Oz ducks.
His face suddenly hardens.
Not anger.
Disappointment.
Mari spins around…
AS OZ HITS HER WITH A DECAPITATING BIG BOOT!
The clutch flies into the crowd.
TODD: Hope Mari didn’t keep her ID in there…
Marisol spins onto the floor.
TODD: She brought the metal...
BAMA: ...and got introduced to boot leather!
[/i][/b]
Mari crawls to buy herself some recovery time, as reaches beneath the ring.
A meathook!
[b][i]WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Marisol pulls herself up by the ring apron… and sees what Oz is holding. Her olive complexion turns a pale white!
TODD: Oh my God! The Meathook! Oz has literally stabbed Mari with a meathook in their last meeting, which Oz picked the stip to be a Meathooks of Horror match!
BAMA: You don’t gotta remind Mari! I think her gut’s life just flashed before its eyes!
Mari hesitates, her eyes get wide as dinner saucers staring at the meathook in Oz’s hands…
Oz notices.
He points it toward her.
Marisol screams enraged.
She charges.
Running knee—
NO! Oz catches her.
GORILLA PRESS GUTBUSTER TO THE OUTSIDE!
The impact folds her over his knee.
Marisol collapses.
Gasping.
[/i][/b]
Having tossed Mari back inside the ring, Oz calls for the ring crew in the rafters to drop a pulley down….
TODD: Holy shit! Oz is actually gonna set a hanging meathook to impale Mari on AGAIN!
Once more, Marisol crawls under the bottom rope just as the ring crew drops the pulley down…
Oz latches the hook onto it, before turning around… just in time to see Mari crawl under the ring…
TODD: Mari perhaps hiding from Oz!
BAMA: She’s beating a strategic retreat! It’s a rebranding, Toddy baby!
Oz slides under the ropes coolly, dropping down to grasp Mari’s leg!
He YANKS her back from under the ring, she emerges…
…
WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
SPRAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
White foam explodes into Oz's face.
The crowd erupts.
TODD: Brilliant!
BAMA: That's thinkin' like a CEO!
Oz stumbles blindly.
Marisol grins.
Finally...
Control.
She spins as Oz brushes the foam from his eyes…
CLANG! DISCUS FIRE EXTINGUISHER SHOT!
Oz gets his dome CRANKED! He drops to the outside like a sack of wet meat!
TODD: WOW! What a shot by Marisol Vilaro!
BAMA: Mari just took X-Treme to the VilaroMaxx, baby! What a shot!
The official drops to the outside just as Mari covers Oz’s fallen body!
TODD: This could do it!
ONE!
TWO!
Oz throws her almost three feet in the air to break the cover!
Marisol lands awkwardly.
Pain floods across her face.
Then frustration.
Then rage.
She pounds the padded concrete!.
TODD: Lot of frustration here on Mari’s face!
BAMA: She’s a business GENIUS, Todd! She’s pushing her negative energy OUT and drawing a solution in!
Mari searches under the ring for something… anything to put Oz away… She tosses away a steel chair… a two-by-four…
Meanwhile, behind her… Oz slowly rises.
Still coated in extinguisher powder.
He almost looks...
Ghostly.
The crowd chants.
"OZ!"
"OZ!"
"OZ!"
Mari spins around as the cheers get louder!
TODD: Mari looks like she’s seeing a ghost!
BAMA: I mean Oz IS still covered in that fire extinguisher powder! He looks a little spooky!
Vilaro charges recklessly.
Oz sidesteps.
Marisol crashes shoulder-first into the outside post.
Oz immediately hooks her.
DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER TO THE OUTSIDE!
The ring shakes.
Oz folds his hands together.
Almost praying.
Then points toward the heavens.
The followers chant louder.
Oz reaches down for Mari, crawling by the ring apron…
But Mari throws a wild desperate kick that catches Oz in the stomach!
TODD: Mari looking less like she’s fighting to win right now and looking more like she’s fighting to survive!
BAMA: The hell do you know, Toddrick! To Mari, to survive MEANS to win! She plays for keeps!
TODD: Right now, she looks like she’s playing to keep living!
Mari scampers, crawling hand over hand…
She reaches desperately, retrieving…
…
A KENDO STICK!
Her lips curl, turning as Oz grunts, rising back to a vertical base…
She swings.
CRACK!
Across Oz's ribs.
Again.
CRACK!
Again.
CRACK!
Oz finally drops to one knee.
Marisol laughs.
The laughter borders on hysterical.
She swings once more—
Oz explodes upward.
PELE KICK!
The kendo stick flies into the front row.
TODD: FROM OUTTA NOWHERE!
BAMA: HOW?!?!
TODD: The workhorse of the XWF pulls out another miracle run!
TODD: Folks, this one has had everything but the kitchen sink and we’ve been all over the outside, but we’ve finally got both competitors back inside the ring..
Both competitors stagger, slowly rising to their feet…
Both exhausted.
Both bleeding.
The table still waits.
Marisol sees it.
Determination replaces anger.
She hooks Oz.
DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX!
…
NO! She can't lift him.
TODD: All that time on the bench press and Mari can’t lift Oz!
Oz grunts from under Mari…
And then LIFTS her effortlessly off her feet!
Oz lifts her effortlessly.
He walks her around the ring atop his shoulders!
The crowd rises.
Oz walks to the corner as the crowd screams!
Setting that hanging meathook right in front of him!
TODD: Don't tell me...
BAMA: Lord have mercy… Buckle Bomb into the Meathook?
TODD: Meathook Bomb?!?
…
HE RUNS!
HE GOES TO THROW MARI!
MEATHOOK!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOMB!
…
REVERSED!
Mari tucks her legs!
Hurricanrana!
Oz hurtles forward!
…
CHEST FIRST INTO THE MEATHOOK!
The crowd loses its mind.
[b][i]HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
Oz grits his teeth, the hanging meathook BURIED in the meat of his shoulder!
His face contorts in pain as he breathes slowly… He shuts his eyes tight… And shoves the meathook out!
TODD: Oz is INSANE! That meathook can do as much damage getting pulled out as it would going in!
BAMA: You think he’s gonna wrestle the rest of the match with a meathook buried in him, Toddy?!?
Blood gushes down Oz’s arm… As it hangs limp at his side…
[/i][/b]
TODD: Oz is trying to continue to fight Mari with one arm!
BAMA: ANd he’s losing blood, Toddrick!
Oz has cornered Mari, his hand wrapped around her throat, throttling her against the corner padding…
When suddenly Mari claws across his face.
EYE RAKE!
The arena erupts in boos.
TODD: NOT AGAIN!
BAMA: THAT'S MY CEO! NO DISQUALIFICATIONS, BABY!
Oz staggers backward.
Marisol immediately dives.
CROSS ARMBREAKER!
She wrenches backward with everything she has.
TODD: Every humiliation. Every defeat. Every ounce of jealousy toward Summer. Every nightmare from the icepick. Marisol Vilaro is pouring everything she has into this submission hold!
Oz clenches, his face turning red, as Mari torques his arm backwards…
…He grits his teeth!
…
HE LIFTS MARI UP OFF THE MAT!
Still trapped on his arm.
TODD: OZ IS A BEAST!
…But then Mari wrenches herself back down to the mat! Oz clenches, smacking his head back against the mat!
BAMA: But even a beast needs blood to function, Toddrick! Oz’s strength is getting sapped by all that red he’s losing!
Oz tries once more…
But MARI TORQUES HARDER!
OZ EXHALES PURE PAIN…
The official asks if Oz can continue!
Oz…
OZ…
…
OZ’S ARM GOES LIMP!
HE PASSES OUT!
DING DING DING!
| Winner: Marisol Vilaro! |
TODD: Mari did it! Mari overcame Oz! Oz beat her twice before, but their third meeting goes Mari’s way!
BAMA: Like she said, Toddrick! This is basically their first meeting, because this ain’t the Old Vilaro. This is VILAROMAXX! And the max was too much for Oz too handle!
Main Event Ish hits and he walks out behind the XWF Universe wearing an Yeet Sunglasses and a Yeet shirt with a Fetu logo on the side of his pants and a Yeet on the right side and he makes a stop near the steps and raise his hands up and wave'em his Yeet hands and the Universe was following him and they were doing it alone side with him and he keeps on walking down the stairs and slapping kids and adults high five and making his way down the ring…
TODD: There he is! The man they call ‘Main Event’! Jay Fetu!
BAMA: Toddrick, I’ve watched this young man for weeks now and I still don’t know what ‘YEET’ is.
TODD: It might defy definition, Bama! It’s a feeling! Almost an emotion! And emotions are running high tonight! Fetu and the Chain Gang have been campaigning for title opportunities for many months now!
BAMA: Fetu wasn’t banned with the rest of the Chain Gang when Betsy beat Blade and they all lost the ability to change for the Rev… but I’m sure he’s heard horror stories about it from Latoya Hixx!
TODD: But tonight, even in a non-title match… he knows winning would put him in line for a shot at the Rev!
BAMA: That’s literally how Mari just got her shot, Toddrick!
Jey climbs over the barricade and sees two Commentary of Bama and Todd slapping hands aloneside with Jey Fetu and he gets inside of the ring in climbs on the top rope and continues waving his Yeet hands towards the Universe and he gets down and the XWF Universe shouts replay it once more and he does and gets right back up on the top rope and repeat the same Yeeting with the Universe and hops down and music fades and waits for his Opponent to appear…
…
S&M By Rhianna will play throughout the arena as the crowd cheers while Summer walks down the aisle. Summer gets to the ring side and walks up the ring stairs. Summer looks out at the crowd and raises her arms out to the crowd as the crowd cheers louder.
TODD: Summer Page! The reigning Revolution champion!
BAMA: With a record as champ of 0-1!
TODD: You know how much Summer Page hates losing, and it has to have stayed at the forefront of her mind that she lost last Anarchy.
BAMA: Not only losing, Toddrick! But to her blood rival from their early days in wrestling, Marisol Vilaro!
TODD: That definitely puts some salt on that wound! And Mari winning makes her the #1 contender for Summer’s Revolution Title at Bad Medicine! Summer’s got tonight to get her game back on track. Can she take another dominant win? Or will one YEET send her to the mat going into Bad Medicine!/blue]
Summer turns her attention to inside the ring where she motions to the referee to open the bottom and middle ropes so they can enter. Summer walks over to the closest ring corner and climbs up to the middle turnbuckle.
…
Summer Page stood in her corner with the XWF Revolution Championship draped over her shoulder before handing it to the referee. She smirked confidently at Jay Fetu, tilting her chin upward as if this were just another obstacle beneath her.
Across the ring, Jay bounced on the balls of his feet with a cocky grin, slapping his chest before pointing directly at Summer.
[blue]"YEEEEEEEET!"
The crowd answered with a loud roar.
TODD: Jay Fetu has made a career out of believing one strike changes everything!
BAMA: That's because it DOES, Toddy! One YEET, one paycheck, one disappointed billionaire daddy!
The bell sounded.
SUMMER PAGE © - vs - JAY FETU SINGLES MATCH! The newly crowned Revolution Champion has another challenge this week, except this time she's taking on "MAIN EVENT" Jay Fetu! Non-title! |
Once the action kicked off, Summer narrowed her eyes and deliberately circled, refusing to give away the center of the ring.
TODD: Great positional wrestling from the Revolution champion! She’s taking the center which is going to be critical to limit Fetu’s explosive, fast-paced offense!
Jay loudly rolled his eyes, before smiling wide.
BAMA: Daggum! Fetu’s in the ring with the Revolution champ and he ain’t even took off his sunglasses when the bell rung! Is he takin’ this shot with Page seriously?
TODD: Fetu’s bold! I think he sees Page’s seriousness as weakness!
Fetu swaggered forward with his hands lowered, offering his chin, giving Page a shot to take the first swing!
Summer rolled her eyes.
TODD: This is a gutsy gambit by Fetu! Page is, no joke, one of the sharpest strikers on Anarchy!
Annoyed by his arrogance, she stepped in—
SMACK!
A sharp forearm cracked across Jay's jaw.
Jay's head snapped sideways, staggering back into the corner!
BAMA: YEET!
He slowly looked back at her, massaging his chin...
...before laughing. Fetu shook his head and tossed his sunglasses into the crowd!
The arena erupted.
TODD: Fetu got rocked, but he took it on the chin and is still standing!
BAMA: But here comes Summer with a post-knuckle sandwich dessert!
Insulted that her opening shot had been shrugged off, Summer charged the corner, to fire off…
A FOREARM SMASH!
…But this time, Fetu ducks under! The roles reverse with Summer against the corner…
Jay answered with a monstrous…
OPEN-HAND CHOP!
WHAAAAACK!
[b][i]WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Summer stumbled backward clutching her chest.
BAMA: GOOD LORD! He caved her rib cage in!
TODD: That is the strength disadvantage Summer has to solve tonight!
Jay smelled weakness.
His grin became predatory as he burst forward—
RUNNING HIP ATTACK!
NO!
Summer instinctively dropped flat to the canvas.
Jay sailed over her and caught himself on the ropes.
Summer immediately kipped up.
Her face settled into cold calculation
TODD: Page learning quickly she’s gonna have a hard time trading power shots with ‘Main Event’ Jay Fetu! She’s gonna have to move quick and make the shots she gets in count!
She attacked the legs.
Low kick.
Another.
Fetu tries to sidestep back out of her attacking range, but gets clipped on the ankle, slowing him down!
Summer follows it up Basement dropkick to the knee.
Jay buckled.
Summer exploded upward—
Jey raises his guard, anticipating another strike!
But Summer slips behind him!
SNAP GERMAN SUPLEX!
TODD: That move DUMPED Fetu on his head!
Jay rolled through onto one knee almost instantly… He backs into the ropes, chest heaving… before smashing his fist against his skull!
“YEEEEEEEEEET!”
YEEEEEEEEEEET!
TODD: Page looks stunned! Fetu has taken her offense and is begging for me! Does it even hurt?
BAMA: Oh it hurts, Todd! But he’s trying to break her mind! Make her wonder what it’s gonna take to put him down! And that’s when he’ll YEET her into next week! He’s waiting for just the right moment!
Summer blinked in surprise… before charging Fetu again!
Fetu turns into a bladed stance…
And fires off a SUPERKICK!
BAMA: Whoa! Never mind! He’s going for it NOW!
…
NO! Summer barely ducked underneath.
She spun behind him—
SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!
Jay crashed onto his shoulders.
ONE!
T—
Kickout.
Jay shoved her nearly halfway across the ring.
TODD: Summer nearly stole one there!
BAMA: That big ol' Samoan ain't gonna stay down because somebody flipped him over once!
TODD: But Fetu made it clear just how fast he can tear off that superkick… and Summer was ready for it!
BAMA: Summer wasn’t born yesterday! …Although, she’s right, Fetu might have been born three months ago based on his profile!
TODD: Gotta be a recordkeeping error, Bama!
Jay climbed back to his feet rubbing his neck.
His smile disappeared.
TODD: Fetu’s been dumped on his head a few times now, Bama! He was laughing it off before… but he’s looking pissed off now!
BAMA: A man can only get knocked down so many times before the pain starts to beat down the resolve! He knows he can’t beat Summer by getting beaten down! He’s gotta find his window to strike and TAKE IT![/blue
Fetu charged with far more aggression.
Summer saw him coming.
Rather than panic, she calmly sidestepped.
Jay crashed shoulder-first into the turnbuckles.
Summer immediately capitalized.
HIGH KNEE!
Jay staggered backward.
CHICK KICK!
His head snapped sideways.
Summer hit the ropes—
CODE RED!
The crowd exploded as Jay folded in half.
ONE!
TWO—
Jay powered out.
Summer exhaled sharply.
Not angry...
Yet.
Thinking quickly, she immediately grabbed the arm.
TOP ROPE CHINLOCK!
She wrapped herself around Jay's neck while hanging over the ropes, forcing the referee to begin counting.
One...
Two...
Three...
Summer released at four!
[blue]TODD: Summer made it very clear the night she won the Revolution! She will be The BITCH if it means being a champion too!
BAMA: It’s not even really cheating until the referee says ‘four’, Toddrick!
Jay rubbed his throat.
His face flushed with frustration.
He hated being slowed down.
He stormed toward her swinging wildly.
Summer ducked.
Forearm.
Body shot.
Forearm.
Jay swung again.
Duck.
SNAP DDT!
Jay spiked into the canvas.
Summer floated into another cover.
ONE!
TWO!!
NO!
Jay launched her completely off him.
Both competitors scrambled upward.
Summer's expression finally showed concern.
Jay was still coming.
The big Samoan slammed both fists against his chest.
"YEET!"
He exploded across the ring.
FETU SPEAR!
NO!
Summer instinctively threw herself sideways.
Jay flew between the ropes and crashed shoulder-first into the steel post.
The crowd gasped.
TODD: Disaster for Jay Fetu!
BAMA: That's what happens when all your horsepower ain't got no steering wheel!
Summer's eyes lit up.
This was her opening.
Her breathing steadied.
Every ounce of frustration disappeared beneath ruthless focus.
She sprinted forward—
SPOILED ROTTEN!
Backstabber!
Jay bounced upward in agony.
TOTAL KNOCKOUT!
SUPERKICK!
Jay collapsed onto one knee.
Summer hit the ropes.
SWEET & SASSY!
The Frankensteiner sent Jay flipping onto the top of his head.
The crowd erupted.
ONE!
TWO!!
THR—
KICKOUT!
Summer slammed both palms into the mat, the frustration starting to mount!
TODD: Jay Fetu survives!
BAMA: That's that determination! That boy ain't quittin'!
TODD: He’s taking a hell of a beating, Bama!
BAMA: Taken a lickin’ but he keeps on tickin’, Toddy baby! You can see it in Page’s face, she’s no longer thinking WHAT it’ll take to put Fetu down, she’s wondering IF she can put him down for the count at all!
Summer paced furiously.
Her jaw clenched.
Her temper started surfacing.
As Fetu scrambled back upright looking woozy, Summer SHOVED him back into the corner!
She pressed him back against the turnbuckle and began HURLING reckless forearms.
BAMA: Boah, she ain’t aiming those, she’s just firing until Fetu’s hard is an innie!
One.
Two.
Three.
Jay absorbed every one.
Then suddenly...
He grabbed her wrist.
Summer froze.
The crowd buzzed.
Summer tried another forearm.
Blocked.
Another.
Blocked.
Jay yanked her in— over his shoulder! He spins….
SPINNING SAMOAN DROP!
The ring shook.
Summer bounced violently… She refuses to stay down, climbing up to her feet…
But Jay was already moving, sprinting toward the ropes!
He sprinted toward the ropes.
The crowd stood.
Fetu rebounds!
FETU SPEAR!!
…
IT CONNECTS!
[white]YEEEEEEEEEEET!
Summer folded inside out.
TODD: GOOD GOD!!
BAMA: THAT'S THE YEET! THAT'S THE YEET! I don’t know what yeet is, but I’m pretty sure that must have been it!
Jay hooked the leg.
ONE!
TWO!!
THR—
NO! Summer barely threw a shoulder upward!
BAMA: How the HELL did Summer kickout!
TODD: Summer fought for almost two years to win her first piece of XWF championship gold! Say what you will about her, she is RESILIENT!
Jay stared at the referee in disbelief.
He slapped the mat once.
Then nodded, looking around at the crowd!
BAMA: Fetu knows it and he knows this crowd knows it! If one YEET wasn't enough… A second YEET will put down a bull elephant!
He climbed to the top rope.
The crowd rose to its feet.
Summer slowly rolled onto her stomach.
Still dazed.
Still crawling.
Jay balanced himself.
His confidence returned completely.
He launched—
FETU SPLASH!
NO!
Summer rolled clear at the last possible second.
Jay crashed stomach-first into the canvas.
The impact knocked the wind completely out of him.
TODD: Nobody home!
BAMA: Oof! That sorta landing make a grown man question every life decision he's ever made!
Summer coughed while pulling herself upright with the ropes.
She glanced toward Jay…
Jay staggered back to his feet holding his ribs.
Summer sprinted.
HIGH KNEE!
Jay staggered.
GOLDEN RULE!
Reverse Neckbreaker!
Jay bounced backward into the ropes.
Summer immediately trapped both arms.
PURE PERFECTION!
PERFECTPLEX!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!
DING! DING! DING!
| Winner: 'Spoiled' Summer Page |
Summer remained on her knees for a moment, breathing heavily before accepting her Revolution Championship from the referee.
Jay sat against the bottom turnbuckle, disappointed but still defiant.
He nodded once toward Summer.
Summer answered with only the faintest smirk before raising her championship high above her head.
TODD: The Revolution Champion survives an absolute war just two weeks before Bad Medicine!
BAMA: And Marisol Vilaro better be watchin', Todd! Summer Page just proved she can weather a storm, outthink a powerhouse, and still find a way to win. That championship ain't leavin' her hands easy!
[/i][/b]
When Anarchy comes back from commercial break, Razor Blade and Latoya Hixx are already waiting in the ring. Latoya cracks her knuckles while Razor Blade runs the ropes. The team of The American Storm appear ready for tonight’s bout!
Todd: Look at how prepared and professional The American Storm are! They came out to the ring early for tonight’s co-main event. They’re looking to turn the ship around and score a big win tonight in the Anarchy tag division!
Bama: What was that, Todd? Sorry, I just got back from taking a massive dump during all those DraftKings commercials.
The Imposts, Michael Graves and Lionel Pennyfarthing, appear on stage with much theatrics- and probably more pyro than they deserve! They make their way down the ramp, each pretending to be their proper character as they slide into the ring.
Bama: There’s more Micheal Graves than there are John Smith’s, I swear!
Todd: Well technically Bama, this one is MichAel Graves!
Bama: And what’s Vinnie Lane doing out there? I thought he was still on medical leave for that optional circumcision his ol’ lady made him get!
Todd: That’s Lionel Pennyfarthing, Bama! We’ve been over this a million times!
Bama: And I still don’t get it! All I know, is that I’m about to watch our Anarchy tag-team champion cheat on his partner with a hot blonde!
Todd: …that’s, that’s not at all what’s happening, Bama!
The Woke Mind Virus hits the stage next! Centurion and Oleandyr Reitan make their way down to the ring, managed by Nellie Cortinovis. They receive a huge pop as all the gays and the girlies scream like they just saw Taylor Swift! Centurion and Oleandyr eventually make their way into the ring whilst Nellie remains at ringside, keeping an eye on The Imposts like a hawk.
Bama: And here comes Centurion and his new bang piece! I wonder if Ruby’s going to be jealous that he’s tag-teaming another chick now!
Todd: That’s his DAUGHTER’S partner, Bama! Have some class!
Bama: Banging your daughter’s partner makes it even worse, Todd!
Todd: The Woke Mind Virus is NOT engaging in intercourse with each other, Bama! The only ones they’re trying to ‘fuck’ are The Trillionaires!
Bama: Well, then they’re in luck! Their opponent tonight, Vinnie Lane, is actually the one who sold this company to The Trillionaires!
Todd: That’s not…you know, whatever! Let’s just get on with this high-stakes tag match!
THE IMPOSTERS - vs - THE WOKE MIND VIRUS - vs - LATOYA HIXX & RAZOR BLADE TRIPLE TEAM TAG MATCH! |
| HIGHLIGHT REEL! |
The bell rings and chaos erupts immediately. All six competitors collide in the center of the ring before spilling out in three different directions.
Todd: And we are underway in this Triple Team Tag Match, folks, and immediately it's bedlam!
Bama: I love it when they just throw the whole rulebook in the trash right out of the gate!
Todd: Centurion just launched himself over the top rope onto Razor Blade! Graves and Latoya Hixx are trading forearms by the timekeeper's table!
Bama: And Pennyfarthing just hit Oleandyr with a chair that I'm PRETTY sure isn't legal in a normal tag match, but hey, this ain't normal! This is a TRIPLE TEAM TAG MATCH…which I guess means anything goes!
Todd: Actually Bama that was a prop chair! So it’s technically not a weapon!
The referee tries to regain order as Latoya Hixx fights back toward the ring, but Graves catches her with a boot to the midsection. Razor Blade charges to make the save and eats a superkick from Oleandyr for his trouble. Bodies scatter everywhere as the referee tries in vain to force a sense of decorum upon the match.
Bama: The referee looks like a substitute teacher who just walked into a food fight.
Todd: He has NO control of this match whatsoever!
Bama: Neither do I, but I'm having a blast!
The tide turns quickly violent against The American Storm. Graves and Centurion, briefly and almost accidentally on the same page, whip Razor Blade into the barricade with a double clothesline that folds him in half. Latoya Hixx springs off the apron to help, but Oleandyr catches her mid-air and drives her through the timekeeper's table with a spinning powerslam!
Todd: MY GOD! Latoya Hixx has been driven through the table!
Bama: That's gonna leave a mark. And by "mark" I mean several vertebrae!
Todd: Razor Blade is down at ringside, Latoya Hixx is buried in kindling. I don't think either member of American Storm is getting back into this one!
Bama: Guess the Storm just made landfall, Todd, and it wasn't pretty!
Referees and medical staff rush to check on both members of The American Storm, clearly already finished for the night.
Back in the ring Graves seizes control, cutting off Oleandyr with stiff European uppercuts before dropping them with a snap suplex. He plants a boot on Oleandyr's chest and plays to the crowd, soaking in the heat.
Bama: Graves is just a natural leading man out here, Todd. Charisma for days.
Todd: He's also just choked Oleandyr against the middle rope for five full seconds without the referee saying a word!
Bama: Charisma AND diplomatic immunity! Incredible package.
Oleandyr fights up and lunges for a desperation tag to Centurion, who comes in like a house of fire. He fires off clotheslines, a flying forearm, and a picture-perfect dropkick that sends Graves reeling into the corner. The crowd, packed with fans of every stripe, comes unglued.
Todd: Hot tag Centurion! And the crowd is ELECTRIC!
Centurion follows with a springboard clothesline that flips Graves inside out, baseball slides him to the floor, then wipes him out with a somersault plancha. Nellie Cortinovis claps approvingly at ringside, keeping one eye locked on the action.
Bama: The Virus is rolling now. I don't think The Imposts have an answer for this.
Todd: It's looking like a big night for Centurion and Oleandyr, Bama!
The momentum swings again when the fight spills out near the barricade. Centurion whips Pennyfarthing toward the steel steps, but Pennyfarthing ducks at the last second. A stray body block from the recovering Graves sends Lionel tumbling awkwardly beneath the ring apron, and he disappears from view entirely.
Todd: Whoa! Pennyfarthing just vanished under the ring!
Bama: Guess he really is British. Man just Irish goodbyed right out of his own tag match!
Todd: The referee doesn't even seem to notice he's gone!
With Pennyfarthing nowhere to be found, Graves is forced to fend off Centurion and Oleandyr alone, and the numbers catch up to him fast. Back in the ring he eats a beating in the corner, chopped raw by Oleandyr as the crowd counts along.
Bama: Where in the world did Lane-'l Pennyfarthing go?
Todd: I genuinely don't know, Bama, but Graves is all alone out here and it's not going well for him!
Somehow, someway, Graves fights back to his feet and starts throwing haymakers! He ends up catching Oleandyr with a big right hand that turns the tide. He whips Centurion into the ropes and drops him with a vicious clothesline that sends him tumbling over the top and down to the floor. Centurion crashes hard on the outside!
Todd: Centurion is down on the floor! He is NOT moving!
Bama: That clothesline nearly took his head clean off!
Todd: Graves has all the momentum now, and Oleandyr is all alone in there!
With Centurion out cold at ringside, Graves turns his attention to Oleandyr and unloads. Knees to the ribs, forearms to the back of the neck, a snap suplex that plants them flat. The crowd tries to rally behind Oleandyr, but they can't find any room to breathe.
Bama: Oleandyr's got nobody to tag! Their partner is face down on the floor!
Todd: Graves is just picking them apart piece by piece![/i][/b]
Oleandyr claws their way toward the corner, desperate for any kind of relief, and finally slaps a hand across the top rope……
IT’S CENTURION!
Todd: Centurion is back! He's back in this thing!
Bama: How did he get up there so fast? He was dead weight on that floor thirty seconds ago!
Todd: I don't know, but he's fired up now!
Centurion hops into the ring and cocks back a massive fist-
BEFORE UNLOADING IT STRAIGHT INTO OLEANDYR’S FACE!!!!
Todd: Wait, what the hell?! Centurion just struck his own partner!
Graves and the Centurion work together to whip Oleandyr corner to corner, hit a double back elbow, and drop them with a combination suplex that draws gasps from the crowd. Nellie is up on the ring apron screaming, pointing at ‘Centurion’, but the noise of the crowd drowns her out completely and nobody pays her any mind.
Todd: Nellie is losing her mind at ringside! And frankly, so am I! What the hell has gotten into Centurion tonight?!
Bama: I guess Centurion isn’t as liberal as he pretends to be!
Just then, the real Centurion stirs on the floor, shakes off the cobwebs, and slides back into the ring! He grabs the other Centurion by the shoulder to spin him around, and for a split second the two stare each other down before the crowd realizes what's happening.
Todd: Wait a minute! Centurion is already IN the ring! Who is that out there?!
Bama: There's two of them, Todd! There's TWO Centurions!
Todd: Then that means….one of those Centurions must be Pennyfarthing!
All four explode into a brawl. Graves and Oleandyr crash through the ropes and spill out to the floor, trading shots all the way up the ramp, leaving the ring to the two Centurions. They trade strikes in the center of the ring, forearm for forearm, until one plants his feet and scoops the other up onto his shoulders.
Todd: He's got him up! He's got him up for the 1000 Mile Slam!
Bama: Centurion is about to hit Centurion with his own finisher, this is INSANE!
The slam connects with a sickening thud, and Centurion rolls straight into the cover on Centurion. The referee drops down and counts!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Todd: He's got him! It's over!
Bama: Ring the bell already! Centurion just won this thing!
Todd: But which one, Bama? WHICH ONE?!
The bell rings, but confusion sets in almost instantly. Referees and agents surround the ring, staring back and forth between the man being counted out and the man standing tall, unable to tell which Centurion is which. Nellie storms in screaming, but even she hesitates for a moment before pointing out the ‘real’ Centurion.
Todd: Nobody can tell them apart! They’re identical!
Bama: This is like a magic trick gone wrong, Todd, and the magician forgot how his own trick works!
Todd: They're pulling the referee aside now, this is a mess!
After several minutes of arguing at ringside, with Nellie, agents, and officials all talking over each other, the decision finally comes down.
Todd: Here's the ruling, Bama. Due to the inability to confirm which competitor delivered and which competitor took that 1000 Mile Slam, this match is being ruled a total NO CONTEST, a DRAW!
Bama: You've got to be kidding me!
Todd: Nobody in this building can say for certain who just won that match! Was it Centurion, or was it Pennyfarthing AS Centurion?!
Both Centurions stand across the ring from one another, chests heaving, as the crowd buzzes with confusion!
| DRAW! |
“The motherfuckin' saga just begun....”
A flash of pyrotechnics go off across the stage, lighting up the arena in green and red. Then, the two step through the curtain and onto the ramp. A violent remix of a reggae anthem blares across the PA system.
“WARNING!
Warning!
Warning!
Warning!”
Charlie Nickles walks forward first- cracking his knuckles, twisting his neck, and wearing a pissed off look on his face.
And walking behind him?
Jordan Penn is carrying Sebastian's old Universal Championship over his shoulder and both XWF Tag Team Championship belts around his waist.
“KILLIN'!
Killin'!
Killin'!
Killin'!”
Jordan Penn, once known as the Director, walks down the ramp with Sebastian's old title on his shoulder- and with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Killin' dem' pussy, we kill dem' fi' fun!
Killin' a pussy, we kill dem' fi' fun!
Killin' pussy, we kill dem' fi' fun!”
Charlie Nickles rolls under the bottom rope and slides into the ring, bouncing around like a wild man ready to let loose.
Jordan Penn, on the other hand, walks up the stairs with a regal swagger. Then, he steps between the ropes before showing off Sebastian's old belt in front of the hardcam.
“Before 'im come, The Nickleman come-
Before 'im come, Jordan Penn come!”
Charlie paces around the ring, testing the ropes whilst Jordan Penn surveys the crowd.
“Man I murder fo' fun but my job is never done!
From morning morn' to the setting of the sun-
Bad men come come, come get murdered for fun!”
Todd: Those damn bastards aren’t the tag team champions! They lost at leap of faith and those degenerates stole the belts earlier this week on Warfare.
Bama: Is that what happened? I don’t know. I only watch the A show!
Jordan Penn brings a microphone up to his lips as the spotlight reflects off all his ill-earned gold.
Jordan Penn: Bitches and gentlefucks. I always wanted to say that and now that Kieran is retired and Lee Stone might as well be dead, I’m taking it.
The crowd boos loudly.
Penn: You’re probably wondering why we’re here, taking up air time on the B show. Well, believe it or not, we’re here to talk about the Brotherhood and the State of the XWF as a whole. First, I can’t entirely give him credit, but I will say that Big Dick Lichter had the balls to do what neither the Trillionaires nor Peter Principle would and give us our rematch for these XWF Tag Team Championships. Stolen from us first, by the way. For all the grief management gave us about applying the free bird rule to the XWF X-Treme title, which you are welcome for, by the way, Dyson. We let you have your little run. We felt bad. But I do have to correct something Dick said. He took credit for saving the tag team division, something I am single-handedly responsible for doing. First, I liberated the Anarchy tag titles from Them No Good Bastards. The pretenders. Thunder Knuckles hasn’t been seen since. Then, I beat my brother and wrenched these titles away from the Exiles’ death grip. So if anyone saved the division, it’s yours truly.
Jordan Penn revels in the crowd’s rigorous booing.
Penn: Come Bad Medicine, we are going to right management’s wrongs from Leap of Faith! Doctor and Patient Clown won the number one contendership match. We prepared for them. Then last minute, Astronaut and Houston clown were allowed to sub in? Frankly, it’s fucked. Korvayne and Remi Storm don’t even like each other. No matter. We will become two time champions at Bad Medicine. As for our group, we find ourselves without any titles after Leap of Faith. So it’s time to do some maintenance once again, trim the fat. Effective immediately, Mr. Oz and Asher Hayes are no longer part of the Brotherhood and Jenny Myst? She’s on her final warning. It’s time we show the world what we have always been capable of.
Todd: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH- did Jordan Penn just FIRE Oz and Asher from BOB?!?!
Bama: He’s taking control, Todd: it’s a hostile takeover of BOB! And Charlie’s just standing there, letting him do it!
Todd: I wonder what Charlie has to say about all this?!
Charlie Nickles lifts a microphone up to his cracked lips. He wets them with his tongue as a sly grin overtakes his face.
The Nickleman: THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
Jordan Penn and Charlie drop their microphones simultaneously, a loud ‘BOOM!’ echoing through the PA! Jordan and Charlie share a hearty guffaw as they exit the ring, with Jordan Penn still holding a ridiculously absurd amount of gold on his body.
Bama: Well you heard it here first, folks: Mr. Oz and Asher Hayes are NO LONGER members of The Brotherhood!
Todd: You never know what’s going to happen on Anarchy! I know this is the official ‘go-home’ show before Bad Medicine, but I never expected Jordan Penn to tell Asher and Oz to go home!
BAMA: Hooooo mama, this ones for all the marbles!
TODD: You said it, Bama. This may be one of the biggest main events Anarchy has ever seen. Not only is the Xtreme Championship on the line, but if Samael Dyson wins again here tonight, he’s awarded a 24/7 briefcase!
BAMA: But Samael’s got a hell of a challenge to overcome in former Universal Champion Dickie Watson! And with it being an Xtreme Ladder match, there’s no tellin’ what kind of carnage will ensue!
The lights die without warning. Not a fade, but a full blackout that sucks the air out of the arena like the calm before a fire. Then, a strobing light, lime green, flares beneath the metal of the floor. Another, quicker and sharper. A third, holding longer now. Long enough for the crowd to catch a glimpse of the static forming on the screen overhead.
The distorted bass of “DEATHLIST” by Code: Pandorum and GHØSTKID blares across the arena’s speaker system low, grinding and industrial. It doesn't start like music, but more like a warning. Like the hum of something broken beneath concrete.The speakers rattle, and with them the crowd begins to stir as the opening continues to play, rhythmic and angry. Noise from the crowd rolls through like a cold draft in a sealed room, a few cheers, a few chants. But mostly unease.
[i]"Do I love you? Or do I hate you?
Can I trust you without failing you?
Gonna tell you what the secret is...
You're number one on my DEATHLIST."[/i]
Can I trust you without failing you?
Gonna tell you what the secret is...
You're number one on my DEATHLIST."[/i]
Whispered, the lyric doesn't rise above the crowd but cuts under it, precise and personal. The music drops out completely, not a fade, and not a glitch, just the same as the lights as they die out entirely. But then, detonation as the bass slams back in without warning, twisted and violent, louder than before. Strobe lights erupt in a manic wash of toxic green, casting sharp, flickering shadows across the sate. It's disorienting, like a spotlight wielded as a weapon. Motionless in that moment, Dickie Watson stands framed in light. No grand pose, no war cry, hair falling in his face and shoulders loose like man who doesn't need to prove he belongs here -- he already knows he does.
He holds this, eyes floating over everyone, and then moves a beat later. Not with urgency, not with showmanship. Just steps forward like the rest of the world is moving slower than him. He doesn't look to the sides, doesn't soak it in. He's not here for the moment, he's here for the thrill. Every movement is precise, like a blade being unsheathed. Quiet, measured. He walks down the ramp towards the ring, eyes still glancing off to the side, turning his head slightly to acknowledge fans and enemies alike. At the barricade, he reaches out and slaps a few hands not necessarily out of respect, but more of obligation. These are the people who kept him alive for so long, and what he does this for.
TODD: A big crowd reaction for Dickie Watson here tonight.
BAMA: These people know whats at stake. They know this man is what stands between the wrestling antichrist and a 24/7 briefcase.
TODD: “Wrestling antichrist”?
BAMA: Well what else would you call him? Dyson’s a bad hombre and most certainly bad for the XWF if his last promo is anything to go by!
The arena descends into a kaleidoscope of strobe lights of various colors, inducing feelings of disorientation and illness in everyone present as the unsettling beat of “SICKO” by Health and Godflesh starts to play. The main screens come alive with a montage of eerie imagery of death, graphic pornography, blood, surgical scenes, and occult imagery (see the video for SICKO for an idea of what you’re seeing), interspersed with the words “DO AS THOU WILT”, “SODOMIZE THE INNOCENT”, “DO CRIMES” and “BE EVIL” throughout the imagery almost like subliminal messaging.
Samael Dyson hits the stage, flanked by an army! The Rollerwhores, the Ubermensch, and Tommy Gunn (looking like a secret service agent) all stand with Dyson.. He's wearing a wrestling singlet with images of various sex acts airbrushed onto it. Sam wastes no time getting to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope as his entourage assembles at ringside. The Ubermensch in particular seems to be staring Dickie down. Sam kneels in the middle of the ring, looking up at the championship suspended above the ring and muttering a dark prayer to himself.
TODD: If you guys missed the last episode of Anarchy, you may be wondering why Tommy Gunn is accompanying Samael to the ring. Well, it’s because Elon Musk himself granted Samael the use of Tommy and his entire security force for this match.
BAMA: That’s right. In fact, I’ve got word that Tommy has his boys strategically placed throughout the arena, on the lookout for Kristoffer Arroyo and Lux, both of whom have a serious axe to grind with Samael.
The shot quickly cuts to various spots in the arena, highlighting Tommy Gunn’s men in place throughout. They too are all dressed like secret service agents, and frequently speak into their high tech wrist mounted radios to check in with Tommy at ringside.
Meanwhile, back in the ring, Samael and Dickie are brought to the center of the ring to square up by the official. But the official looks troubled by something. He looks at The Ubermensch and the Rollerwhores and back at Samael. Samael smirks and waggles his fingers at the ref. The ref scowls and he steps to the edge of the ring where he points to The Ubermensch and the Rollerwhores, rolls his arm dramatically, points towards the back and yells, “YOU’RE OUT!”
Samael’s jaw drops! Dickie starts to laugh!
BAMA: The official just sent Samael’s goons packin’!!!
Samael immediately gets in the ref’s face, demanding he reconsider but the ref holds his ground and retorts that Samael will be disqualified if they don’t leave!
TODD: Sam doesn’t want a disqualification here! He needs this match to win that briefcase!
Samael shrieks out an obscenity and reluctantly orders his goons to the back! The Ubermensch looks stunned! The Rollerwhores look…well, we can’t tell through the masks but they’re probably not happy either. Forlornly, the entire group starts making their way to the backstage area as the fans pop and jeer at them as they go.
TODD: Well that’s one way to even the odds! Things are looking much brighter for Dickie Watson now!
With that settled, the ref orders for the bell and the match is on!
  DICKIE WATSON - vs - SAMAEL DYSON © X-TREME RULEZ LADDER MATCH! Dyson's final defense! If Samael Dyson wins, he is awarded a 24/7 briefcase! |
Samael immediately darts towards the ring ropes, looking to head outside and grab a ladder. But Dickie is too fast, grabbing Samael about the waist and dumping him over with a release German suplex! Samael rolls and scrambles to his feet, clutching his head, but Dickie is on him again, opening up with a series of chops that drive Samael into the corner.
Samael responds by grabbing Dickie’s hair and pulling him into a headbutt that stuns both men, but Samael recovers a little quicker and chops Dickie’s knee out from under him, grounding the superstar. Samael then proceeds to viciously stomp on Dickie before again going for the ladder.
BAMA: Sam looks like he’s in a hurry to get this over with.
TODD: Can you blame him? Dickie Watson just gets more lethal as the match goes on.
Sam goes to the outside and grabs the ladder stacked there, but he takes his eye off Dickie and Dickie surprises him with a running basement dropkick that sends the ladder right back into Sam’s face! Sam goes down and Dickie heads to the outside, where he picks up the ladder and dumps it right back down on Sam. He then picks the ladder up himself and slides it under the bottom rope.
Sam recovers and grabs Dickie’s foot as he goes to slide back in the ring, pulling him back out and onto the floor viciously! Sam then goes and snatches a beer from a fan at ringside, bringing the cup back and splashing the contents in Dickie’s eyes! Sam then punts Dickie in the gut and DDT’s him into the floor!
With that, Sam rolls into the ring and starts setting up the ladder as the fans cheer on Dickie to recover! Finally, Dickie rouses to his feet just as Sam starts to climb. Dickie explodes into the ring and jumps to his feet, latching onto Sam and dragging him off the ladder into another suplex! Dickie then takes hold of the ladder and smashes it into Sam, driving him into the corner again! Then, he rears back with the ladder and drives the top of it into Sam’s guts! The wind rushes out of Sam and he sinks to his knees!
TODD: Dickie showing he’s very adept with that ladder!
Dickie then sets the ladder up in the center of the ring and starts to climb, almost making it to the top before Sam intervenes, knocking Dickie’s feet out from under him. Dickie deftly lands on his feet, but Sam meets him with a closed fist, followed by another. He then grabs Dickie by the hair and rebounds his skull off the ladder!
Now Sam starts to climb, getting closer and closer to the championship….but Dickie stops him again, this time by upending the whole ladder and sending Sam crashing over the top rope and to the outside!
BAMA: Ohhhh, a bad fall for the champion!
But instead of mounting the ladder, Dickie launches into a cartwheel parlayed into an over the top rope suicide plancha that drills the champion! Both men collapse into a heap as the fans pop for Dickies daredevil display!
Both men are slow to rise but Dickie is up first. He surprises Sam with a standing moonsault before Sam can get up. He then goes to grab the ring steps, dragging them over to Sam and planting them next to him. Dickie then grapples Sam up into a brainbuster position, intent on driving the champ into the steel!
But Sam wriggles out just in time, dropping behind Dickie and pulling him down into a reverse facebuster onto the metal steps! Dickie’s back arches in pain! Samael then picks Dickie up and scoop slams him into the steps for good measure! Dickie calls out in pain! Sam then goes under the ring and pulls out….another ladder!
BAMA: What’s his twisted brain thinking?!
Sam pulls Dickie off the ring steps, stomps him a few times for good measure, and then starts to climb the ladder on the outside! Sam gets all the way to the top and takes flight, looking to splash Dickie from on high!
But Dickie rolls out of the way and Sam splashes nothing but the floor!
TODD: Damn! A big “gambled and lost” for the champ!
Sam cusses and spits as he clutches at his stomach. Dickie picks him up and tiger suplexes Sam right onto the metal steps! The fans pop huge for the punishment Dickie is doling out. Dickie then rolls into the ring and repositions the ladder under the title. He starts to climb!
The fans are cheering as Dickie gets a quarter of the way up….
…..halfway up…..
…..three quarters of the way up…..
…..but NO! Sam dives into the ring and drags Dickie off the ladder! Sam punches Dickie and then parlays that into a sloppy beal toss across the ring. Sam follows that up by dropkicking Dickie as he tries to get up. Sam then grabs the ladder and drops it down to the canvas. He pulls Dickie in between the two pieces of the ladder and proceeds to open and shut it on Dickie repeatedly and viciously, followed up by double 9stomping down on the top of the ladder, forcing a rung into Dickie’s face!
TODD: Dyson now dishing out some serious punishment!
BAMA: He’s got Dickie wrapped up in that ladder like the meat in a pain sandwich!
Sam then heads back outside the ring to grab the other ladder, while back in the ring Dickie slowly pulls himself free. But Sam is relentless and he clobbers Dickie in the head with the second ladder before setting it up to grab the title. Sam starts to climb!
A quarter….
Halfway…..
Three quarters up the ladder….
But Dickie is there to stop him! In fact, he weathers the pain and shoots up the other side of the ladder! He grapples Sam and proceeds to superplex him off the top! The fans pop HUGE!
TODD: Dickie with another explosive move! He told Sam he was coming for a wrestling match and he wasn’t kidding!
Both competitors lie on the mat looking exhausted as the crowd goes wild!
TODD: This defense feels like it’s for all the marbles!
BAMA: It is, Toddrick! Samael’s promising to tank the XWF into an age that would make the Potato Era look like an episode of Miss Rachel!
Samael tries with every fiber of his bod to rise up first, but his knees buckle with every move to try and force himself up right… Dickie stirs first, reaching and picking up the downed ladder. He sets it up at the center of the ring… but in desperation, Samael surges forward, biting Dickie on the face!
TODD: Oh my GOD! The brutality of Samael Dyson!
BAMA: Dickie might need to get tested for rabies after that bite… actually, get the whole panel of tests knowing Dyson’s tastes…
Dyson claws and bites like a feral animal, but Dickie manages to clinch onto his head and deliver a jawbreaker that drives Dyson back into the ropes and he flops down onto the mat!
Dickie resets the ladder under the belt and once more starts climbing…
A quarter….
Halfway…..
Three quarters up the ladder….
Dickie’s reaching up, starting to unlatch the belt…
TODD: Watson’s gonna do it! We’re gonna have a new X-Treme champ!
The official gets in position to call the end of the match… When Dyson stands up and KICKS the official in the chest! Bumping him into the ladder! The ladder topples over, the belt slipping out of Dickie’s hands as Dickie goes over and lands with a sickening thud outside the ring!
TODD: Oh my God!
BAMA: That fall was U-G-L-Y OOGLIE, Toddrick!
Samael’s chest heaves exhausted as he stares at the downed Watson outside the ring. He laughs hideously before mentally deciding to save his boasting and bragging for after when he has the briefcase in hand… Instead, he pulls the ladder from the ropes and sets it up under the belt!
TODD: Watson’s body might be broken after that fall! Does this mean…
BAMA: Samael Dyson’s gonna get the briefcase!
Samael starts scampering up the ladder…
He sets his first step on the ladder… The second st-
FWOOSH! A hand reaches up through the mat!
TODD: HOLY SHIT!
Samael looks down in horror!
As ‘Vamp’ Kristoffer Arroyo emerges through the mat!
TODD: It’s Arroyo! Kristofer Arroyo! Samael’s former herald!
BAMA: Tommy was supposed to stop this!
Gunn is barking orders to his security team who all start rushing toward the ring! But Arroyo’s already yanking Dyson down to the mat! Guillotine position…
ROMEO’S LAMENT! Dyson’s skull gets CRUNCHED against the mat!
TODD: BY GOD! Er… Satan? Wherever Arroyo’s vampiric powers came from, they just cost Dyson his 24/7 briefcase and his dreams of destroying the XWF!
Arroyo isn’t done! He grabs Dyson’s limp body by the skull and tries to pull him up for…
A SECOND ROMEO’S LAMENT!
…But No! Tommy Gunny dives through the ropes and tackles Arroyo to the mat! Well, tries to, Arroyo stays mostly upright, until another pair of security guys manage to support Gunn, dragging Arroyo down to the mat… It takes six or seven security guys all working in tandem but they and Gunn manage to force Arroyo to the padded concrete and chase him back up the ramp!
TODD: Gunn neutralized Vamp from further interference… but has the damage already been done?!?
After almost a full minute of eerie silence where Dyson lies unconscious in the center of the ring, Watson lies unconscious outside, and the official lies broken in the corner…
Watson finds the wherewithal to slowly start rising off the padded concrete… Watson manages to slide back under the bottom rope, grabbing the ladder… At the same time, another official starts running down the ramp!
TODD: Dickie’s back in the ring! And a new official is here! AND Samael Dyson is still down!
BAMA: Watson’s one short climb away from stopping Dyson’s reign of terror from becoming reality!
The official slides under the bottom rope just as Dickie starts climbing…
A quarter….
Halfway…..
Three quarters up the ladder….
The official sets a hand on the ladder just as Dickie’s reaching up, starting to unlatch the belt…
TODD: Is the official… holding the ladder? That’s improper for an official, isn’t it?
Watson starts to pull the belt loose… When all at once the official puts both hands on the ladder and SHOVES IT OVER!
It goes against the ropes and AGAIN Dickie falls in a disgusting bellyflop to outside the ring!
TODD: Ohhhhhhh, that fall looked even worse!
Dickie’s outside the ring in a crumpled heap… The official reaches for their face…
AND RIPS IT OFF!
…
IT’S KORVAYNE!
TODD: Korvayne?!? What the hell is she doing here?!?
Korvayne tosses her realistic face mask away before mounting Dyson, smacking him in the face to try and wake him up. After a few smacks, in a sudden burst of consciousness, Dyson’s eyes shoot open! Korvayne wastes no time dragging him upright and is practically shoving him from behind up the rungs of the ladder!
Dickie slowly stirs outside the ring!
TODD: How the hell is Watson even living after that last fall?!? Let alone moving!
BAMA: That’s how bad Watson wants the win, Toddrick! He’ll die tomorrow, he’s winning tonight!
Korvayne’s eyes widen as she sees Dickie stirring, reaching the apron… She shoves Dyson even harder…
Dyson’s jelly legs manage halfway up the ladder…
Dickie grabs the side of the ring, pulling himself under the bottom rope…
When the Ubermensch hops the barricade and pulls him back out!
TODD: NO! Not even more interference!
Watson and Ubermensch grapple for control as Korvayne continues to shove and prod Dyson up the ladder… He’s three-quarters of the way up!
Ubermensch goes for a lariat! Dickie ducks, wrapping Ubermensch up for a Dickie’s Revenge! But his knees buckle when he goes to lift, Ubermensch shoves him back against the turnbuckle pole outside the ring! And then hits him with a big boot, hammering his skull with a loud clang!
Inside the ring, Korvayne’s got Dyson’s up to the top… His shaking hands wrap around the belt…
TODD: NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
…
…….
IT’S UNLATCHED! DYSON WINS! KORVAYNE CALLS FOR THE BELL!
| WINNER AND STILL X-TREME CHAMPION: SAMAEL DYSON NEW 24/7 BRIEFCASE HOLDER: SAMAEL DYSON |
BAMA: He did it! That crazy sunovabitch actually did it! We have a second briefcase holder running around!
TODD: The man who swore he’d personally drag the XWF into an age of darkness now has a briefcase that lets him challenge for any belt he wants at any time! And we all know what belt he’s got in mind… At this moment I say, as calmly as I can muster, WE’RE DOOMED! WE’RE ALL DOOMED!
| THANK YOU TO ALL OUR WONDERFUL MATCH WRITERS PETER PRINCIPLE SAMAEL DYSON LATINA SUBMISSION MACHINA MICHEAL GRAVES & TO OUR AMAZING SEGMENT WRITER JORDAN PENN & EVERYONE WHO ROLEPLAYED! |
RE: ANARCHY - 07/02/2026 - SolemnIncline - 07-03-2026
Solomon Kline is backstage with Steve Sayors.
Sayors: All right, Solomon. Tough loss tonight. Can you tell us where your head is at?
Solomon glares at him.
Solomon: Tough loss? Are you kidding me? I should be embarrassed. I should never show my face here again! This was MY moment. Stolen by some old meme of a wrestler. I think it’s time to change things.
Solomon walks off in a huff.