We see Bobby, still bandaged up from the vicious assault perpetrated by the record holder for shortest TV Title reign. The TV Title is draped over his shoulder as he smiles into the camera.

"Well, to nobody's surprise, I'm the TV Champion. I will be, too, because, well, I have integrity. Anyhow, I got to thinking, a ton of people who identify as simps probably want an alternative."

"Heck, just ask Xtreme Champion Samael Dyson!"

(05-12-2026, 01:32 PM)Samael Dyson Said: "I want to oil up that fat fucks fat body, pinch his rolls together, and fuck them."

Bobby nods.

"While I don't feel body shamed, considering my slim, trim 15% bodyfat body, I do feel astonishingly sexy."

"In fact, I'm a boy dad, so some people just want to wax their carrot or schlick and flick their bean to some prime DILF meat."

"As such..."

Bobby holds up a jar of some foggy looking substance.

"I will be selling bath water to all of you."

"This was not easy to make."

"For starters, I barely fit in many bathtubs being six and a half feet all, so I constructed a special tub just for me."

"Then I took a bath. That wasn't hard, I just usually shower is all, like a reasonable adult."

"Then I had to go out and get all these mason jars."

"So, if you've wanted to Saltburn style Power-Bottom your way to the top, buy Bobby's Bathbomb Water."

"It's the bathwater of a winner."