Remi had been enjoying a rare peaceful afternoon at home sprawled across her couch with a blanket and absolutely no intentions of dealing with other human beings.

Then the doorbell rang.

With a sigh, she drags herself up and swings the front door open only to freeze at the sight of an unfamiliar pale man standing stiffly on her porch dressed like he exclusively attended underground nightclubs. Remi immediately points at him.

"For the LAST time, I am not associating with vampires and I am NOT a vampire trollop no matter what Samael says!"

The man blinks. ".... I was just looking for directions."

Remi narrows her eyes suspiciously. "That sounds exactly like something a vampire would say." She slams the door in his face. Muttering to herself, Remi storms back towards the living room and flops dramatically onto the couch again.

Five seconds later...

DING DONG!

"Oh for FUCK'S sake."

She rips the front door open again. A completely different pale man stands on her porch this time. "I swear to... NO! I don't know where you can find Kristoffer Arroyo, and..." Her attention is caught by a small black camping tent in the middle of her front yard. Remi's eyes narrow immediately. "Oh, absolutely not."

Because she had seen Samael's biography before. Lives wherever annoys you most.

Which meant he was absolutely inside that tent.

Barefoot and irritated, Remi shoulders around dude who was definitely a vampire, and strides across the grass. "DYSON!"

Silence.

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! YOU SEE WHAT YOUR ACCUSATIONS HAVE CAUSED?!"

The tent zipper comes down as he peers at her.

"I am NEVER beating the allegations because of you..." Remi goes to enter the tent uninvited, because she isn't a vampire herself, duh... but awkwardly catches a foot on the lip of the tent. She trips forward into the tent, taking Samael down with her, landing on top in a tangled heap of blankets, limbs, and pure indignation. Remi lifts her head, looking at Samael, then beyond to a ref who was sitting cross-legged inside the tent beside them.

"You've got to be kidding me... You're in here too?"

The ref slaps the ground.

1!


"Are they your pets?"


2!