A long abandoned facility hidden deep within the Allegheny Mountains of West Virginia.


Not many know that this place exists.

Those that do can’t agree if it was owned by some university, the government, or just some rich assholes who were interested in the stars.

”You couldn’t pick a place with a McDonald’s?” Graves says while watching Kris and Matty prepare to do whatever vampire voodoo they came here to do.

The telescope in the center of the room is huge, old, and rusted. Kris stands near it with his hands behind his back, ignoring Graves. Matty on the other hand looks like he just got invited to super secret vampire space camp.

”I’m serious! There was a town forty miles back that had lights, roads, biscuits, and beers. Can’t you do your stupid training there? I mean, you’re vampires, right? I’m positive that town had a graveyard, a funeral home, and probably a Hot Topic."

Kris turns about to face Graves. “Well, my dear Gravy, those places just won’t cut it.”

”Why?”

“Because to give Matty’s abilities the best chance of blossoming, we need to be on top of certain land, energized with magnetic wavelengths that cater to our kind. And this place, at the crossroads of the Earthly and the cosmic….” Kris gestures to the massive rusting telescope, “....suits our needs better than a Carl’s Jr.”

Graves waves his finger in the air in a sarcastic “whoop-de-doo” fashion. ”Can we at least make this quick? I’m hungry...”

“Nobody asked you to come babysit us, Graves.” Matty retorts, hopping down off a derelict piece of machinery.

”And yet, here I am!”

Kris returns his attention to Matty. “Don’t mind him bud, just focus on what we talked about.”

“But what if I’m not actually an Archon?” Matty worries.

Kris smiles. “Trust me, with what I’ve seen you do before, you’re an Archon. Let’s try the animal presence abilities first and….”

”The kid has a point, this could be a waste of time. We could be touring Space-X and hanging with Elon before the space launch.”

Kris returns his attention to Graves. “If I’m correct, what Matty is is much more important than any space launch.”

”Well I beg to differ! We’re gonna have to forfeit those titles if we don’t make it to Mars. And don’t you dare say Matty’s abilities are much more important than hanging out with the rich–est…” Graves stops suddenly and blinks a couple times. ”Well, shit..” He points past Kris.

Arroyo wheels around and his mouth forms an “O” of surprise at the sight.

“Yo.” Matty says simply with a smirk. Because he’s presently and quite suddenly surrounded by a horde of wolves and foxes, and a quartet of bats is circling over his head. “I think I did it.”

Kris chuckles. “Yeah, bud you certainly did. Can you….can you interact with them?”

“Let me try.” Matty closes his eyes. His face trembles a bit out of exertion.

“Take your time, Matty.”

By this point even Graves looks a little intrigued.

“The wolves are considering eating Graves. But they don’t like the smell of him. They say he smells like… like… wet crotch and AXE Dark Temptation.” Matty opens his eyes and laughs at Graves.

”He’s full of shit! I didn’t even put on any body spray today!”

“Yeah. We know.” Kris retorts. Then, back to Matty. “But seriously though Matt-man, are you being real right now?”

Matty nods his head. “Yeah. It’s like the animals’ thoughts are all mixed up with mine. It’s kind of hard to focus.”

“You’ll get better at it. With practice.”

”Aside from this Doctor Doolittle shit, what else can he do?”

Kris gestures to his own chest. “You mean like, aside from bringing me back to life? Errr….unlife.”

Graves presumably quirks an eyebrow behind his mask. “Would it work on a human?”

Matty shrugs. “I honestly don’t know. You could kill yourself and we could give it a go!”

Graves flashes a middle finger at Matty. ”I’d love to, but I don’t die.”

Matty looks him up and down. “Everybody dies.”

”Not me.”

“That’s not how death works. You can’t just will it away.”

”You did… er… well, HE did.”

Kris sighs, but there’s a slight smile with it. “Can we please stay focused?”

The wolves continue to circle Matty, but the foxes seem to be stuck on Graves.

”I don’t like those,” he points.

“The foxes?” Matty asks.

”Yeah. They look sly as an infomercial pitchman. I bet they’re trying to get my social security number!”

One of the foxes whimpers and tilts its head.

”SEE! THAT ONE JUST COMMITTED FRAUD IN ITS MIND!”

Kris steps closer to Matty. “Ignore him. Tell me what you feel.”

Matty closes his eyes. “I feel… all of it. The wolves are hungry. The foxes are curious. The bats are afraid of the noise.”

”What noise?”

“The one you keep making!”

The wolves stop circling and turn their attention to Graves.

They growl.

”What’s their problem?”

Matty opens an eye. “They’re reconsidering.”

”Reconsidering what?”

“Not eating you.”

Graves glances at the wolves before turning his attention back to the foxes.

”Cool.”

Kris stares in bewilderment. “Cool? They want to eat you.”

”Yeah, I heard.”

“And you’re not concerned?”

”Not about them.” He keeps his focus on the foxes. One of them takes a small step.

Graves points, ”THAT’S AN ADVANCE!”

Kris pinches the bridge of his nose. “Micheal, the wolves outweigh you. Combined, the foxes are—”

”Shady!”

“—small…”

”Shady and small. Worst thing to deal with.”

Kris looks to Matty. Matty just shrugs.

”Big dumb things I understand. Oz is big. Oz is dumb. Oz can do a hurricanrana at three hundred pounds and STILL can’t close when it counts. You know what you do with something like that?”

He looks away from the foxes to Kris. ”Let it tire itself out chewing on your entrails, then go for the kill!”

He looks back.

”But those things? Those are the type that’ll smile to your face. Shake your hand. Sell you on one thing, then deliver another. All while they have one hand in your wallet selling your credit card number to three different guys named Habib.”

“You’re worried about Bobby Sales? He sucks!”

”I didn’t say I was worried about Bobby Sales.”

“You kinda did though,” Matty chimes in.

”No, what I said was those little fox bastards have Bobby Sales energy, and I don’t trust ‘em!”

Kris looks to the foxes then Graves. “I don’t know if I’d be insulting animals that are connected to Matty’s brain.”

”Why, because they can understand me? Good!”

One of the foxes bares its teeth.

Graves points, ”SEE! Defensive! Guilty people get defensive!”

Matty’s face twitches. “Okay, that one really doesn’t like you.”

”Good! I don’t like it either! At least we have some honesty! That right there is more than Bobby Sales has ever given anyone!”

“Why does it matter? We’re just going to pin them and move on.”

”Yeah? Who sold you that idea, huh? Bobby? Because he “sucks”? Well maybe he does, and maybe he don’t. Maybe he sucked on purpose to steal the shine from a couple of over confident champs.”

“What? Graves, I’m not looking past them. I’m just confident that together, we can handle them no sweat.”

”Yeah? You think so? Me too! That’s the problem. Don’t you see!? Oz is an idiot. Sure, he acts smart, and in some walk of life, maybe he is. He is rich. Has a family. Dabbles with a butt-demon and seems to always come out on top, but in-ring, in wrestling—stats don’t lie. He ain’t a thinker. He ain’t a doer. He’s a tool, like I thought you were when we first met. Bobby’s a salesman. The worst kind. The kind that’ll turn over his own mother for two dimes and a promise of something bigger.

This is bigger.

This is where the scheme comes to fruition.

Bobby Sales.

Sells you on an idea.

Sells you on confidence.

Sells you on him.

Then swaps the product for something you didn’t expect.

Wrestling Bobby Sales is like ordering from Temu.

You never know what you’re gonna get until you done got it.

By then, the return cost more than the purchase, and you’re just stuck!”

Kris just smiles and shakes his head, rubbing his forehead in bemusement. “I gotta tell ya Michael, Bobby Sales being our big bad is one hell of a take. I mean, if it had been Billy Mayes (R.I.P.) I’d say you had a point. Billy at least looked like he could take a punch. But Sales? That little weasel looks like he’s one gut punch away from shitting a brick of entrails.

Nah man, if we HAVE to pick a bigger threat in this match (and I use the term “threat” very loosely), it’s Oz. Yeah, he might be a dimwit, but I’m willing to bet, like Matty’s critters here, he’s at least a hungry dimwit. The guy hasn’t had a championship run in almost two years and even then it was spent standing in line for a cup of coffee. Ever since then it’s been a string of “maybe’s”, “almost there’s” and “second places.” Now granted, that’s because he sucks. But by the same token, imagine what that does to a man. That frustration. That feeling of constantly having relevance ripped from your fingers only to be shunted down the card with the Razor Blade’s of the world. For two years Mister Oz has been a paragon of mediocrity and in each and every single match the opposition reminds him of that fact. Followed roughly half the time by Oz eating a shit dinner in that match.

Bobby Sales hasn’t been around long enough to understand that kind of pain. He just doesn’t have the tenure that Ozzy boy has. So for my money, attention should be on Oz.

Now bear in mind, WANTING and being CAPABLE are two very different things. Lots of people want the world and they’ll never have it. Oz is in the same camp. Not good enough. Not savvy enough. And ultimately a big old rich soft belly who wouldn’t know actually trying if it came up and bit him on the ass.”

“Um….guys….” Matty interjects.

“Hold on a sec bud, let me finish my rant.”

“But….”

“Just a sec!” Kris holds up a finger in Matty’s direction without actually sparing him a glance. Which is unfortunate because if he had he’d be noting Matty’s animal companions starting to look a little ornery.

“Look Michael, we didn’t come upon these championships by accident. We came upon them because we are the best competitors on the Anarchy brand. Now can you really say the same for Oz and Sales? I mean, if we’re really talking honestly here... we just can’t.”

”Actually Kris the kid might have a point.”

Kris finally turns around and takes stock of the animals. “Oh….” he mouths.

Suddenly, the foxes and wolves are in motion, and making a bee line for Gravy!

“Oh shit!” Matty cries. “Uhhhh….HEEL! STOP! I COMMAND YOU TO….”

”YYYYEEAAAARRRRGGGGG!” Gravy screams as the animals are on him, ripping and tearing!

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it!”

Kris wastes no time leaping into the fray, pulling predators off his tag partner with reckless abandon. “Stay with me Graves!”

But by the time the animals are slinking cowed, back into the nearby woods, Graves is a mess.