Kris opened the door to the small New York City apartment he shared with his young ward Matty. Ordinarily, he would have been more circumspect, but this was an expected and much needed visit.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, US congresswoman and centuries old vampire queen, stood in the hall holding a rolling cooler. “It’s vampire Christmas! Ahoy, ahoy.” She smiled as she entered the apartment, dragging the cooler in with her.

“Well that’s one way to put it.” Kris mused. “But still, why the in person visit?”

AOC mocked looking insulted. “Well fuck me I guess?”

“No, no, it’s not….it’s not a bad thing.” Few people could catch Kris off guard but Alexandria had always been one of them.

“I’m worried about you. And Matty. Okay?”

Kris bent over to open the cooler and inspect its contents. He pulled out a refrigerated blood bag. “We’re doing alright.”

“Are you?” she paused. “What’s with the whole “no feeding” thing, now? And that crazy possession shit that happened with Matty.”

“Well to answer item A, you know I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. Be a better man. And draining humans of their blood doesn’t exactly help with that.” He nods down at the cooler. “Thank you for doubling the ration.”

“Yeah. About that.” A small frown tugged at her features. “It’s getting harder and harder to put together these deliveries. Doubling it isn’t doing me any favors.”

“I know….I know….”

The Congresswoman sighed. “So how is Matty? And Jesus, Samael?! I just heard he’s the Universal champion! How the fuck did they let that happen?!”

“Matty’s doing okay. Whatever possessed him hasn’t returned. But I know that it had something to do with Samael.” Kris looked to the side, as though ashamed. “So I’m backing off of Samael.”

“What?! Why?!”

“I can’t risk Matty, Alex!” he spoke forcefully, returning his gaze to her. “I need to put my shit aside and think of him.”

“Okay, I get it. But for God’s sake Kris, he KILLED you.”

“Believe me, I remember. But, Christ Alex, what am I supposed to do?” Kris took a breath. “I’m not jeopardizing Matty. If that costs me my revenge so be it.”

Alex stopped, looking at Kris for a moment with an inscrutible expression.

“What?”

“Just thinking about how much you’ve grown. You’re such a far cry from the dumb punk who always led with his dick that I turned 300 years ago. Matty’s been so, so good for you.”

Kris smirked. “I didn’t ALWAYS lead with my dick.”

“Honey, if you didn’t have a vampire’s constitution you’d have died ages ago from a super-STD that mutated from every other STD known to man.”

“Nah. I’d probably just have been like Mr. Burns in that one episode of the Simpson’s. So many STD’s they’d all have counteracted each other and not been able to squeeze through the door.”



Alexandria laughed.

“But anyway, the camera crew’s gonna be here in a bit and I gotta cut some material.”

“I wanna stay and watch.”

Kris rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

“Is it the Woke Mind Virus again? I like them a lot!”

“You would. And it’s half of them. Centurion.”

“Some serious hot dad energy on that one.”

“Gross.”

LATER….

“This vanilla yogurt motherfucker thinks he knows me.” Kris stood on the porch of his abode, looking out at the city skyline.

“Last time we met you boiled me down to one of two options because of my partnership with Graves: evil or empty headed. But there's a third option you missed because as usual you're too busy huffing your own supply.

How about, because I'm a man with someone who counts on me?

Hell, you're a dad, so I'm shocked you so readily bypassed that one. Then again you wouldn't have been able to drag me otherwise.

Look Cent, I wasn't thrilled getting partnered with Graves initially either. But over time I came to realize that although he's not a good person, he gets it done in the ring. Michael Graves wasn't a good ethical move…but he was a damn good career move. And considering I've got Matty's future to worry about, I'll pick the good career move every time and no I won't apologize for it!

Speaking of careers, yours is in the shitter by the by. Granted, you have gold around your waist, but the last episode of Anarchy showed me the weakest Centurion I've ever seen. Getting your shit pushed in by a consummate joke like Jay Fetu? Holy hell…heh.

You do realize that if Miss Furry hadn't been there that no account, doesn't have two brain cells to rub together curtain jerker would have gotten the dub on you, right?

I want you to play that last sentence over and over again until it sinks in how fucking sad that is. Until it sinks in that that should be a career ending bit of humiliation. But it won't end Centy's career because then how else is he going to performatively lord his goodness and decency over all of us? God forbid we miss the annals of this stodgy rich middle aged white man playing “how do you do fellow kids” with people who actually do know what it feels like to be persecuted and cast aside. As a gay Hispanic man your playacting is nothing short of nauseating. Oleandyr, you can certainly do better.

Centurion, contrary to what it says on the box this isn't just about bragging rights. It's about climbing the ladder and securing a future for Matty. He may not be my son, but he is my BLOOD. And this blood runs THICK. And I'll be damned if I get punked out by Jay Fetu’s whipping boy. It's a long way down for you Centy. Maybe bring a book while you wait for the bottom. I heard Marx is pretty interesting."