The stage opens on a campsite isolated in the middle of a vast wooded area. Twilight is looming, and a young couple is seen canoodling in a sleeping bag. They start to kiss and before long things are getting hot and heavy! The woman slips off her top, revealing a lacy black bra and copious bosoms. The man removes his pants and chucks them out of the sleeping bag. But suddenly, their amorous affair is interrupted by a snapping twig. They both look up and scream when they see a masked monstrosity leering at them and bearing a large butcher knife!


Enter: MERCY!

PrepAre to diE!

Wait, wait, wait! The man tosses his arms up defensively. The woman screams again!

Please don’t hurt us!

BeGging will geT yoU noWhere.

Why are you doing this to us?!

PreMaRiTal sEx. Mercy hisses simply.

The couple looks at each other and then back at Mercy.

But we’re married.

Yeah! See!

They both display their wedding bands. Mercy cants her head.

Whew, turns out this is all a big misunderstanding.

Yeah, but hey! I’m sure there are some teen counselors at the sleepaway camp just down the mountain.

Mercy’s hands coil into fists.

FiNe. TheN You will dIe fOr BeiNG alonE In the WooDs.

The couple look at each other again, and the woman points at something near their tent. It’s a high tech digital camera on a tripod.

I mean, we’re technically not alone.

Yeah, we’re filing a scene for our OnlyFans. Thousands of people are watching us right now.

You can sense that Mercy’s rage is building.

DamN it. HoLD on A momEnt.

Mercy turns around and grabs a bag made out of human flesh from the treeline. She withdraws a book from the bag titled….

Serial Killing and You.

She starts quickly flipping through the pages before landing on one. She nods and looks up at the couple.

YoU wILL die fOr beiNg rAcial minOriTIES Then!

Hey now!

That’s not cool at all!

Yeah. I mean, I’m like 7% Cherokee Indian, but mostly Caucasian!

I’m German and Irish!

Besides isn’t it just the rule that racial minorities die FIRST, not just die because they happen to be racial minorities?

This whole conversation is starting to make me uncomfortable.

Look, I’m Not a RaciSt….!

Could have fooled us! Geez!

Mercy starts flipping through the guide book again, a little more desperately this time.

iS eIthEr of you a BaBySitter?

Um, no.

Me either.

SHIT! Uh…..

The guy rolls his eyes and mutters, This is pretty bush league.

She must be new.

I’M NOT NEW! You kNow what….fUck IT!

Mercy picks up the couple, sleeping bag and all, and drags it over to the nearest solid tree, where she proceeds to bash the sleeping bag into the tree over and over!


Mercy batters the tree with the couple in the sleeping bag over and over until the screams stop. Finally, she upends the bag and a human soup pours out. Blood. Gore. Broken intertwined limbs.

Then, the monster stalks over to the broadcasting camera.

“SomeBody get wOrd of thiS to VITA VALENTEEN!” Mercy roars.

“Vita, yOu pathEtIc mewLing Simp! So obSEssively worrieD aboUT what PeOple thiNk of You that yOu turNeD yourSelf into a LiterAl CaRtooN! Some Comic BooK pabLum slOp so ThAt yOu couLd hiDE fRom wHat you reAlly are!

COWARD!

WEAK WILLED PATHETIC COWARD!

I wAs like yOu Once. CaRInG what PeOple thoUght of me. CaRiNG if thEy thOughT i wAS PRETTY enougH. CarIng if tHey thOught I met theIr puRIle standarDS of BEAUTY. So I bUTCHered mySElf. OVER AND OVER! UntIl I beCAmE a MONster by aCcident.

bUT hERE’s where WE diFfer, VITA. I aCCepTed mySELF long aGo. I LET go of ThAt paTHetic inSECurity and eMbraced myselF for thE monSter I beCAME. You? YoU conTinuE to deNy the Gifts yOu’Ve bEEn givEn. AND make nO miStAKE. MONsterhood is a GIFT!

It MeAnS yoU don’T HAVE To abide by SoCIETy’S rulEs. WE STAND OUTSIDE OF IT, VITA! We caN EmbrAce ouR TERRible ID urges. Do aS wE will. You juST have tO bE sTRong Enough to PUll tHat Trigger. I wAs Strong enOugh. But You?

YOU STILL CARE WHAT THE RABBLE THINKS! “

Mercy cants her head eerily.

“AnD wHY nOT. yOu’re stIll CUTE. yOU stIll PASS for HUMaN. IT’S sO eAsy for yoU to Fall into THAt trap of WAnting to Be what yOu oNce Were. But you’RE noT, Vita. Not human.

So mAyBE yoU jUst nEED a liTTle puSH. maYbe yOu jUst need somEthing to AFFiRm how unLIke the REST oF humANITY you reaLLy are.

MAYBE YOU NEED TO BE UGLY.”

A rasping wheezing laughter escapes from behind Mercy’s mask.

“uGlY liKE mE. Yessssssss. You nEed to pUt somE miles beTween yoU aNd the MASSes. SoMEthing you WOuLd neVer hAve thE couRAGE to Do on YOUr oWn.

So You need ME.

I’ll do IT VITA. I’lL maKe you REAL UGLY. I’LL cARvE sOmE fURRows iN thAt PIXiE lIKE fACE. I’LL opEn YOU uP WIDE AnD lET thE AGONY IN!  AnD whAt a CoinCidencE! It’S an EXTREME RULES match! It’S alMOst like thEy wAnt mE tO cARVE yOU up!

A sQuEAMISH moNSTER standS no cHAnce againST The reAl Thing SWeetie! I’M goInG tO blEEd yOu lIke a STuCk PiG! anD in THe eNd, you’LL wiSH you hAd thE stONES to BE a monSter. BEcaUse thEn yoU miGHT have stOOd a ChANCE in HELL! ThEN yOu miGht have SURVIVED!

PooR baBy shRINKinG VioLET! SEE you sOOn you gORmlEss liTTle Worm!

Mercy turns away from the camera, where it’s viewers are frantically pouring cash into the dead couple’s coffers. Lord knows they’ll need it for the funerals.