Your view opens on a glittering fashion show runway replete with Halloween decorations. We pan over the audience on either side of the runway, themselves members of the fashionista elite, before arriving at a grand stage set apart from it to meet our hosts.

“Hello everyone! I’m Bob The Drag Queen!”

“And I’m the reanimated head of Joan Rivers in a multilimbed octo-bot!”

It’s what it says on the cover, believe it or not.

“And we’re here to pay a special Halloween homage to the greats of the fashion world!”

“I tell you Bob I’d die alllllll over again for Belenciaga!”

“Me too Joan. I mean, for the first time, because I’ve never died before. Anyway, without further ado, let’s get to the FAAAAAAAASHION!”

The shot returns to the runway where a model sashays out wearing what looks to be a sexy mummy outfit.

“First up we have Valeria sporting this spooky number from Alexander McQueen!”

“The undead have never looked more stylish, Bob. God save the (Mc)Queen!”

“Oh wait, what’s this?”

Naturally, it’s MERCY! She careens out from the back, stepping onto the runway with authority and wielding a butcher knife! She wastes no time attacking Valeria, plunging the blade into her abdomen! Valeria screams like she’s dying, because she, uh, is.

“Oh wow Bob! You’ve got to admire the pageantry on display here!”

Valeria drops to the floor of the runway, bleeding out everywhere. “HELP! SHE’S KLLING ME!”

“Give this girl an Academy Award! She can ACT!”

“I’m not acting! I’m literally *coughs up blood* dying!”

Mercy continues stabbing Valeria, sending blood spatter into the front row of the spectators. At first, they don’t seem to know what to make of it, but then one of them rises to his feet and gives a standing ovation! The other spectators quickly follow suit, applauding the gruesome display.

“I love it, Bob. You know, I think it’s symbolic! All fashion trends die out eventually, and here we’re seeing it happen LITERALLY.”

“Wow Joan, that’s deep!”

Valeria finally dies and Mercy rises just as another model is sent down the runway and into the meat grinder. This time it’s a sexy vampire who smiles nervously at Mercy, also assuming it’s all part of the show. Mercy leaps on her and starts stabbing and she too dies in a shower of gore!

“Oh my!”

“I don’t know who she is but I love her style! The leathers! Those boots! Damn grrrrlllll, werk, werk, werk!”

Mercy leaps down from the runway and starts cutting a path through the audience. They still think it’s all part of the show and applaud like imbeciles as they’re literally being cut down. Finally, Mercy makes her way to Bob and Joan! Mercy punches the jar containing Joan’s head, rips the head out and dumps it onto the floor, where she proceeds to stomp on it, causing Joan’s eyes to pop out of her skull and brain matter to ooze out of the empty sockets!

“Joan, I didn’t know you were part of the show!”

Mercy runs the knife across Bob’s throat, opening him up. Bob falls off the stage, landing on the back of his neck with a sickening crack! This naturally draws even more applause from the crowd!

“ThAt’S riGht yOU fUCkinG SLUTS! I wAs BoRN on thIs RUNway!”

Mercy faces the camera, tilting her masked head in an eerie way and flicking the blood off the butcher knife.

“MY, mY My….looKs liKe we HaVE ourSElVeS a REpeAT! And IsN’t thIs jUSt sO typiCAL? BiG bad MERCY wAs neVER suPPosed to BEAt CuTE, INNocent liTTle VITA VALENTEEN. BuT IT haPPened! And nOw We nEEd tO run It BAcK to GivE VITA a chANCe To reCoUP her LOss!

SICKENING!

PATHETIC!

iF it waSN’T clEar XWF hAd a FAVORITe befOre It is NoW! BecAuSE SATAN FORBID I bE abLe to BEAT VITA anD moVe on to STRoNGER moRE inteReSting gAme! Oh no! VITA MUST BE AVENGED!”

Mercy scoffs.

“tHaTs fIne thouGH. I’LL enjoY tAking this RevOLTIng, MEWLING, liTTle vaMpiRe NYmph doWn A pEg AgAin. I MeAn, iT was OH sO enJOyAbLe thE fiRst Time.

But Don”t GET mE wRong. I’M no FOOL. i KNOw thIs iS gOIng tO be the ToughER mAtCH of ThE TWo. AfTER aLL, ViTA hAs SomETHING to ProVE nOw. ShE’LL fiGHT hArdER thIs tIME. ShE hAS to.

I’LL BE READY.

BuT hEre’S my quESTion, my PorcelAin skiNNed littLe PrecIOuS! HoW Far Are you wIlliNg to Go to Avoid the UTTer humiliATion of LOSing to Me AGAin? To WHAt DEPTHS OF THE SOUL are You wIllIng to PLuNGE?

ViTA….


…..CuPcAke….


…..sWEEthEART….


…ARE YOU FINALLY READY TO EMBRACE YOUR MONSTROUS SIDE?

Oh I saW glINts of it hEre anD thEre in Our FirSt matCH. And to bE honEST, iT EXCITED me! BuT iN thE eND, You WERE onLY wIllinG to gO so FaR. YoU StoPPed sHort of BEiNG a BEaSt AnD loSt likE a LiTTle Girl.

MOrE’S thE piTy.

Heh…hEreS thE rUB baBy GiRL. YoU’Re goNNa nEED to bLeeD mE ouT to Win THIS tIME. I won’T Stop OthERWISE! You’RE GOnnA nEED to Let thoSE fANGS frEE and mAKE mE SUFFER! You”rE gOING to NeeD to CONfROnt thAt WhAt yOU moSt FEAR: the ToXic dArKNESS iN youR souL.

ANd bECAuSE oF thAT, iN thE END, I wIn nO mAttEr HOw thIS tURNS ouT!”

Mercy laughs, a rasping choking thing.

"EiTHER You SURReNder tO youR bAseST urGES to WiN A wRESTliNG maTCH, or You ReaMAIN A duMB, nAiVE InnoCENT CHild aNd loSE aGAIN!

HOUSE WINS EITHER WAY!

bEcAUSE eVEN iF I lEAVE ThIS HAllOwEEn behINd hAVING just lEFt an INdelible mARk oN yoUR sOUL…eVeN iF i REvEAL To All THe Merry LiTTLE boYS and GirlS wHo CHaNt Your NaME whAt A TRuE BEAST yOU aRE…..WeLL, thAT’S AS GooD aS a VIctoRY in mY bOOk.

EVOLVE OR DIE, VITA.

MAKE YOUR CHOICE!"