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Tommy Wish · **Yesterday, 06:14 PM**

[We see a disclaimer on the screen.]

Dolly Parton

Sunrise: 1946

Sunset: 2025

[Then it shows a somber Tommy in a suit, hair tied, groomed bear standing in front of the XWF logo.]

T: Welcome to this promo, why am I doing this? Why so somber?...simple, Dolly Fuckin Parton, her voice and her words, her influence in the game. I remember growing up in Texas, where my great grandmother Bertha was once close with Dolly. I still remember her coming to my 10th birthday party, her busting out that guitar and i was singing like a hummingbird, which is why gravitated towards country, all cow boy and shit… but, that got played out and got into hip hop and rock, but still had Dolly’s records stashed somewhere in Bertha’s storage.

But in reality, this was unexpected, and I wasn't thinking about coming to a windy city like this. To be honest, once I had that phone call from the higher ups or in this case shorter ups so to speak, i was booked. I was booked into a match that had three people in it, I guess I'm not too worthy of a shot at the nepo blade sword, or being tossed in as a last minute replacement for Mr Oz’s triple decker gauntlet matches.

I could have stayed my ass home in Brooklyn, and sobbing over a death of a beloved singer with the boba boobies, but something inside of me told me to not do that, because its not easy working to a 9a to 5pm, or having a Jolene type of person asking why aren’t you in the studio or touring?.... Shit like that, so i guess i have no choice to be the final piece in an already maze’d up match. I know those three poor souls have no idea what they are up against, because you see my friends after last week, i decided to rebirth my odd alter ego Tha Freak, who isn’t here this evening since he had a “date” to tend to, so im speaking on behalf of it.

Taking on Summer Page, Kenny Styles, and Solomon Kline is going to be very fun for him to deal with in that ring, they will feel what pain is, and he will NOT show mercy. Oh no, if he could fuck up Mr. Oz then what makes things different this time around?

Oh I don't know, it's a free for all, where someone is going to get the gas face of defeat, and if you don’t know what that means checkout 3rd Bass Gas Face, and you’ll be hip to the lingo. Old song, but it has a point. Just like the Tha Freak has a point to destroy those three poor souls, and maybe have one them suffer A Fetish Lock or two, and he surely doesn’t need to be the next Perc Angle to go above and beyond in a simplistic match like this.

Tha Freak has one message he would like to proclaim…

[Static appears, and in grainy footage, we see Tha Freak getting head from a Dolly Parton Drag Queen in the locker room. He shooed the camera away, as it cuts back to Tommy who chuckles a bit]

T: Well, nevermind… but if I HAD to speak on behalf of him…..

Y’ALL ARE GONNA FEEL PAIN AND LAY RIGHT NEXT TO DOLLY PARTON’S GRAVE SITE….IT DONT MATTER WHO SURVIVES BECAUSE I WILL BE THE LAST ONE STANDING..GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Then the promo abruptly cuts to a photo of Dolly Parton, then it simply fades to black.]

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